Where’s the butler, my cook,
the dreamy-eyed gardener?
Breakfast tray is late, teacup is empty,
newly bought plants droop on the stoop.
Mail lies unopened, bills want paying,
washing has piled up, the house smells of dog!
Where is my efficient secretary, the maid,
seamstress, my beautiful laundrette?
All gone missing, chauffeur as well,
resigned their posts, taken off the day.
I appear left to my own devices.
Well, it’s toast and pillows and tub
for me as I can see no one is here
to meet my needs.