Month: December 2022

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Baked Alaska

I made Baked Alaska for our Christmas Eve dessert this year. Mmm.

A dreamy, imaginative girl, I held Baked Alaska up as a symbol of the life I might one day lead as a writer, with an apartment in New York City, trips to Paris, and exotic dinners in fancy restaurants. This was loosely based on movies, music, and my mother telling me about Baked Alaska. It sounded exotic, sophisticated, and divine! I don’t quite remember her circumstances, but I’m fairly certain she must have had that pleasure before she married my father and gave birth to us seven kids in the short span of ten years. As a single woman, she had a fun-loving group of girlfriends, took some wonderful trips with them, spent all the money she earned as a secretary on beautiful suits, hats, and travel. It sounded as if she, my aunt, and their friends most likely treated themselves to a few luxuries on those trips.

Paris! Paris! (The brooch is of the Eiffel Tower.)

My mother played the piano and as a girl, she had dreams of one day being a concert pianist. I imagine that her dream, much like mine, included a polished, sophisticated life, though she never spoke of that. I remember her playing certain pieces as we lay in bed at night–a Chopin waltz, “Anitra’s Dance,” from Grieg’s Peer Gynt Suite–both of which I later learned. She would not have described herself as dreamy or imaginative, no, but I think I came by those traits naturally. I bet she pictured herself living a very different life from what she ended up living, as did I. I know she didn’t have as much luck or as many choices as I did, to fashion her own life as she wanted, though.

I have zero regrets about the life I’ve had. Oh, I guess I wish I’d been more adventurous when I was young, traveled more, lived larger. I ended up living very far from my heart’s friend, the sea, but here where I am, I have a truly lovely community of friends that I would not give up. No. I did what I was comfortable with, began to love nature far more than I did as a young woman, and found ways to live a creative life with my three wonderful and amazing sons. I have a small house that needs many repairs but which is filled with modest treasures that I and others have created. It’s not in New York City or Paris, but in humble, lovely-in-its-own-way, Missouri. I have a small piano and a somewhat ragtag group of piano students. I paint. I write these letters and you, my darlings, read them. I even figured out how to make Baked Alaska right here in my own kitchen! It’s a wonderful life.

Inspiration comes from surprising places. This week it came in the guise of a dessert that got me thinking about my childhood, my mother, the piano, and my many dreams. That’s the beauty of writing. It takes you on a journey.

“Books are the plane, and the train, and the road. They are the destination, and the journey. They are home.” ― Anna Quindlen, How Reading Changed My Life

“Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.
You must travel it by yourself.
It is not far. It is within reach.
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know.
Perhaps it is everywhere – on water and land.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.” ― Michelle Obama, Becoming

If you’d like to see my new paintings online, go quickly here. They will be there through January 5, 2023. (Good God! 2023 already!) Be sure to click on the thumbnails to see the whole picture! If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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A Holiday MerryThoughts

To all of you celebrating holidays this weekend, I’m sending an extra little letter with wishes that your holidays be lovely, warm, cozy, and maybe even a little bit magical.

I love the idea that magic and miracles could happen. I like to believe that the possibility of peace in modern times (itself a miracle) is real. I love hearing stories of people loving people no matter what. I am all for the words WONDER and BELIEVE. And so this time of year is dear to my heart.

MAY YOU HAVE PEACE IN YOUR HEART THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.

“Winter then in its early and clear stages, was a purifying engine that ran unhindered over city and country, alerting the stars to sparkle violently and shower their silver light into the arms of bare upreaching trees. It was a mad and beautiful thing that scoured raw the souls of animals and man, driving them before it until they loved to run. And what it did to Northern forests can hardly be described, considering that it iced the branches of the sycamores on Chrystie Street and swept them back and forth until they rang like ranks of bells.” – Mark Helprin, Winter’s Tale

If you’d like to see my new paintings online, go here. Be sure to click on the thumbnails to see the whole picture! If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Winter Solstice

The older I get, the faster time rushes. And there seems to be nothing I can do about it.

Winter Solstice is upon us. In just two days people in the Northern Hemisphere will celebrate the shortest day of the year, the lengthening of the days and the return of spring. And in just two weeks 2022 will end and 2023 will begin. But didn’t we just start wearing sweaters and hard pants? How are we here already? Time is going by too fast for me.

I don’t care if it’s longer days, longer nights, or equal days and nights. I just want my twenty-four hours and I don’t want them to zoom by in a flash, like they seem to be doing, now that I’m an old lady.

I just heard a meditation teacher say that our physical bodies tend to lean forward most of the time, due to our brains’ natural tendency to think about where we need to go, what we need to do next, what’s next on the agenda. And this is why so many of us have trouble sleeping. What’s next? What’s next? What’s next?

Instead, we should be fully participating in what’s happening right now.

So let’s celebrate the seasons, the turn of the calendar page, the natural changes that happen in our world. These things are momentous and magical. Let’s mark those occasions. But let’s also celebrate the morning and the day, our cozy beds, etc., and try not to keen towards spring from now forward. Maybe in that way we can slow the passage of our days.

“A man [or woman] who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.” ― Charles Darwin, The Life & Letters of Charles Darwin

“Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its brevity.” ― Jean de La Bruyère, Les Caractères

“Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you – sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever.” ― Lauren Oliver, Pandemonium

If you’d like to see my new paintings online, go here. Be sure to click on the thumbnails to see the whole picture! If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Hibernating

Do you find yourself sleeping more these days? I do. Lord! Lately I’ve had marathon sleeps–8 or 9 hours night after night–with record amounts of deep and REM sleep, according to my Fitbit. And then, too, I could easily nap in the afternoon–not at all like me. More like a bear. Or Miles.

At first I put it down to the busyness, stress and exhaustion of the last few weeks, getting ready for my solo show, visitors and Thanksgiving. Maybe I’m just catching up? Or what about allergies? Perhaps now that I get weekly allergy shots I’ll sleep rather than sneeze my way through the winter.

I rebelled against the change to cold weather, as usual, but now I have to admit I’m loving this late fall–the bare branches of trees against a sky that’s bright blue, solid white with clouds, or bursting into color at dawn. But wait a minute! I haven’t been seeing the dawn lately. Day after day I’ve been fast asleep. Just thinking of it now makes me a little wistful for my bed.

I love the early sunset and the long nights, being in for the night by 5:00, preferably in pajamas by 7:30, bed by 9:00. I love the coziness of lighted windows and porches in the dark. One does not even have occasion to use the word “cozy” in spring and summer. I’m almost disappointed that we’re already so close to the Winter Solstice, the return of the light and longer days.

So for now everything about this time of year feels just right. We have four very distinct seasons where I live and each has its own beauty. Oh, I might be singing a different tune when the temperature is 1, feels like -10. But that can be an adventure in its own right. Can we get through it?? There’s always some reward. Right now the reward is that I have a bed and dogs to share it with. I make my own schedule, so I really can sleep for hours if I want. How great is that? Life is good. Sleep is good. Zzzzzz.

Here is one of my favorite passages from the excellent J.M. Barrie book, Peter Pan.

“Mrs. Darling first heard of Peter when she was tidying up her children’s minds. It is the nightly custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day. If you could keep awake (but of course you can’t) you would see your own mother doing this and you would find it very interesting to watch. It’s quite like tidying up drawers. You would see her on her knees, I expect, lingering humorously over some of your contents, wondering where on Earth you picked this thing up, making discoveries sweet and not so sweet, pressing this to her cheek, as if it were a nice kitten, and hurriedly stowing that out of sight. When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out the prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on.” ― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Think of Mrs. Darling as a part of you, doing this for yourself every night. Wouldn’t it be so nice?

If you’d like to see my new paintings online, go here. If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Gentle Highlights

I’m not talking about hair color. I’m thinking of all the soft high points to the events of a life. In the last couple of weeks I had my solo show opening and reception; family and friends visiting; Thanksgiving; and then my Holiday Open Studio. Although the show opening was a very big life event for me, the things that stand out today, after all is done and dusted, are those small things that mean so much.

My son Peter and my sister Mary flew in from the East and West Coasts. Many friends and acquaintances showed up for the opening and Peter put the hard sell on a few of them. He poured wine at the reception, took photos, bought paintings himself. His girlfriend sent flowers. At dinner after, with family and friends, I looked down the long table at all these important people in my life, loving how much they were enjoying each other, and I made a little speech of thanks, especially for everything my two sons had done to make this happen. Oliver had seen me through the early days of trying to paint, photographed all the pieces, tried to salvage my homemade frames and ultimately framed and wired the paintings properly. I wanted to thank them publicly.

Peter putting the hard sell on his former PE teacher

Mary and Peter stayed on for Thanksgiving, which was so much fun for me. They doubled our usual number for Thanksgiving dinner. The four of us, my two sons and we two sisters, worked hard but convivially together to make a fabulous meal, along with hand cranked ice cream. We ate like great pigs. The four of us played games after dinner, and Mary won all of them! She and I played Christmas duets on the piano when the boys were out. We took many walks in all my favorite places. The dogs were loved upon.

It was the first Thanksgiving in many years that I had not made a list of all I’m thankful for. I really didn’t need to write anything down. All the things are very present with me.

After Mary and Peter had both gone, I jumped right into getting ready for my Open Studio. It twas great, but again, it’s the small moments that I will remember, the people, the friends, old and new, the ones who surprised me as well as the faithful. All the little things stand out. An artist sent me a note, thanking me for sending people to her sale, despite uncomfortable history between us. A neighbor who didn’t realize I’d started painting came to see, and looked carefully through my book from the show. A young abstract artist I barely know looked through the book, too. He was full of praise, invited me to come and talk art with him! And there was so much more. There always is, I think, so much more.

Yes, having a solo show of my paintings is a very big deal to me. But all of the quiet moments are, too.

“Life is not measured by time. It is measured by moments.” ― Armin Houman

“Everyone has the desire to freeze a wonderful moment they are in, just like a camera, and stay in that moment forever!” ― Mehmet Murat Ildan

“You must collect moments. Those will be the true wealth of your soul.” ― Liviu C. Tudose

If you’d like to see my paintings online, go here. If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Much Ado About Something

This morning, after months of painting and planning, I hung my show. Ahh.

I woke at 3:30 this morning, dozed fitfully for an hour. Finally I just gave up and got up at 4:30. So many things on my mind–family coming from West and East coasts for my big little event; others coming in for other reasons; the reception; Thanksgiving; this, that, and the other needing to be done and made ready. So very many things to think about and do. My checklists have been completed and replaced day after day.

My energetic, ever-helpful friend and I arrived at the bank, paintings in hand, to find a Christmas tree in one corner of the space. Hmm. Seemed to be a problem. But the wonderful, all-knowing Executive Director of the Columbia Art League, Kelsey, suggested a change of layout that might accommodate both the tree and the paintings. We switched out two large paintings for these two small ones, one of which could be seen as a snowy landscape and the other looking bright and festive. We hung one on either side of the tree. Voila! She was right. It’s perfect.

Bonnie, me and Kelsey

So with the help of these two great gals, my solo show has been hung and we had fun doing it. All of it, really, has been happy work–the painting itself, the planning, and all the doing, so very much doing, more doing than I had imagined. Well, most of the doing was fun. The framing fiasco? Not fun. Cards have gone out, wine has been bought, the Art League is promoting the heck out of it, and all is well. I am happy. Whatever happens from here on out, I’m happy.

I am grateful to so many people for their help! I will be especially thankful this Thanksgiving Day for all the people in my life who make my world a better place. As the effervescent Bonnie likes to say, “I’m livin’ the dream.”

“Have the wisdom to perceive all there is to be thankful for, and then be thankful for the wisdom to perceive things so clearly.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich, Slaying Dragons

“Today I focus my thoughts on the wonderful things that are. I focus my heart on the full-filling things that will be . . . and I give thanks.” ― Angie Karan

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” – Maya Angelou

If you’re looking for my paintings, go here. If you want cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Losing & Finding

You didn’t really think I’d include a photo of myself on the beach, did you?

Every time I lose those three pounds, I find them again, right back where they were. And it’s not pretty.

When Covid hit I was very happy with my weight. With the incentive of a beach vacation, I had lost seven pounds that had been bugging me for a few months. I felt great! And through the summer of 2020 I kept active, doing fast walks as I had been doing at the gym, and riding my bike. Sadly, those good habits began to fade with the summer.

I had, out of the blue, thought of Mallomars. Mmm. I craved them long before summer was over, but discovered that Nabisco only sells them between September and March. What a great marketing tactic! Scarcity. Humans always seem to want what we cannot have. Which is not to say that Mallomars aren’t the best cookie ever made, anyway. Nothing compares. I tried all the knock-offs. Pinwheels. Whippets. No. Pinwheels will do in a pinch, but no. And if you eat enough of them, you’ll have plenty to pinch.

Now that I’ve lost the three pounds once again, it’s the holidays. And Mallomars appeared on the shelf at HyVee. What?! In 2020 I had to order them in quantity from Wal-Mart, a place I normally avoid. We consumed 13 boxes of them, having frozen some to eat in the lean months of summer. In 2021 I did not buy a single box, wasn’t even thinking about them. And now look. In my face, at HyVee. I could hardly not buy them. They were the last two boxes! What the heck! And I have people visiting!

I imagine those three pounds will be in my face (actually, someplace else) next week or the week after.

It’s not actually three pounds that I’d like to lose, although three does put a little spring in my step. It’s more like ten. Ten would put me back where I was for that beach vacation. Ahh, I remember it so fondly. The ten, though, seem to really like me. We’re stickin’ with you, friend, they say. Sometimes I think Oh well, this is who I am now. Embrace it.

Inevitably I try again and I lose those same damn three pounds. Lo and behold, like a bad penny, they turn up again and again and again.

“Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.” ― Sophia Loren

“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” ― Amy Bloom

“You know when you buy a bag of salad and it gets all brown and soggy? Cookies don’t do that.” – Unknown

If you’re looking for my paintings, go here. If you want cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”