A crazy cacophony of birdsong
happens, as it turns out, before dawn.
At least it is happening today and
my brain the human kind that
likes to find order
make assumptions
discover meaning
rest on comforting facts
line up reliable regularity
would like to assume that
this is how it is with birds
on every warm spring morning
still dark awaiting the smile of the sun.
And so now I can know that
days begin with a riot of singing!
How jolly!
From away come sirens
one after another on
this gorgeous day
closer by the second
then by and away.
Somebody is having a bad day.
Seems a rotten shame on
a Godly day as this when
we blessedly free of fire
injury accident trouble
with the law might well
frolic and play on this
flat out
drop dead
full on
no holds barred
unabashed
magnificent miracle
of a day.
Poetry suffers when my sons are here
with me, poetry, friends, work
all falls languishing by the way.
Mourning doves carry on
passing judgment. Let them!
I know where my heart lies.
It is here, with my sons and the
intendeds they care to share with me.
Lazy today, all.
Dogs, young lovers, solitary son, mother.
Bone tired, scratchy eyes, refusing to rise.
Lazy lazy lazy.
The small flat bear lies face down
at the foot of my bed as if even he
cannot be bothered cannot stand
the thought on this quiet day.
Clocks have artificially taken
an hour from our night.
Rain drips lackluster
too tired to pour.
Air does not stir.
Lazy lazy lazy.
Having sprung forward
the day itself
seems to have found
its energy now spent.
My son floats grand dreams on the lake
of his heart as I do, too. One day he says
he’ll make a pot of money enough to
move me and her mother too to
California where both our arms
will reach around grandchildren
who will no doubt be extraordinary
like their parents. Now I hear a
titmouse calling Peter Peter Peter
reminding me that next week
she and he will once again
be miles and then oceans away.
Until next time. Next time.
I sip these hours and days slowly.
So what if in a moment it all changes
as It tends to do?
And what if Life takes an unexpected turn
the acrobat loses balance
misses the catch
missteps on the high wire?
What if it all falls down around us
the wire
the gymnast
the jugglers’ pins
the voluminous tent
the girl on the elephant’s neck
the colorful flags
the ringmaster’s tall black hat?
What will we do then?
What will we all do?
What will happen to that elephant?
A rainy dreary day as I take my friend
for radiation wondering if every day
breaks bleakly facing cancer hair loss
radiation God knows what else?
And me with my happy circumstances
old wounds healed afterglow of my sons
reunited here at home with me
my Peter with his lovely Karen and
oh the contrast of one life to another
at a given point in time can be breathtaking.
Wind blows ceaselessly flinging the bits
of our old worn out battles aloft and away
as far as possible. To think that a party
could cause so much hurt and bring so much joy.
My gratitude now smooshes around my
beleaguered neck in silken folds soothing
away the yearslong animosities
a miracle of human spirit
a lesson in forgiveness.
The vagaries of personalities moods dreams
realized or thwarted who we are who we become
what becomes of all of that in the face of change
challenge chance? What dictates who fares
better than others?
All three of my sons together for once
it happens so rarely and I took no photo
but there is always today tomorrow and then
who knows when again the wedding barring
any unforeseen happenstance anyway I love
the luxury of it I eat it up with a spoon when
I can the friendly wrestling the boyhood
jokes ridiculous banter of puns wit and barbs
the wild differences among them the
continued wonder I hold of the fact that
these are my babies who once grew inside me.