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. . . and I Am Brave

I am home from all my travels, home from California, home from Taiwan. I could tell and tell about it but in some ways, I haven’t the words.

I wrote before I left about my fears around this trip. I had many. I was afraid the long flight would be awful and that I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I wasn’t. I was afraid I wasn’t in shape enough for the bike trip. I was! I was afraid something dreadful would happen, in a country where I had zero ability to speak or read the language. It didn’t.

So when we came upon this sculpture, with this title, during our first amazing day of the bike journey, I was enchanted. “I am brave.” I hadn’t been feeling brave. I had balked at riding city bikes in the busy streets of Taipei and Taichung, with throngs of scooters, cars, trucks, and people. I did not feel brave, but I did it. I had moments of “I can’t do it” when we picked up our rental bikes and I found my “extra small” e-bike too big to get comfortably on and off of. I was afraid of falling in traffic or anywhere, and breaking a hip, like an old lady. And then I panicked when I read a couple of comments online about how scary the coastal route–our route–could be.

But I knew I could trust my son. He had made all the plans. He is a skilled traveler and cyclist. He was my guide. We set off, in this gorgeous land where all those drivers of scooters, cars and trucks really do watch out for cyclists, where there are miles and miles of beautiful dedicated bikeways, where bike lanes accompany practically every street and highway, where the many bicycle routes for traversing Taiwan are well-marked, where cyclists are warmly welcomed nearly everywhere. Bicycling is the national pastime in Taiwan and that is very apparent.

I would like to write more about the country and the trip in my next letter. It has been so much for me to absorb. I’ll let this one express my gratitude that my son made this happen for me and gave me the chance to be brave. This was much more than travel for me. It was transformative. I’ve learned that I can be fearful of a thing–anxious, worried, even envisioning terrible things–and yet still go ahead and do it, ultimately finding it utterly exhilarating. I once was better friends with that concept than I have been of late. It has been wonderful for me to revisit it.

Thank you, Cole.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela

“Courage conquers all things: it even gives strength to the body.” – Ovid

“In all realms of life it takes courage to stretch your limits, express your power, and fulfill your potential.” – Suze Orman

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Open Open Open

One morning not too long ago I was walking my dogs up the street and there, on the curb, was a smudged piece of paper with the words OPEN OPEN OPEN on them. Well! I picked it up, of course. It had to be meant for me and it had to be a sign. I’m always saying I want to stay open–to people, places, things, and ideas–so I took this as the universe saying, “Here. Stick this on your wall and do it!”

Turning it over, I saw that it was a sheet of sandpaper. ? Odd, but beside the point. I brought it home and set it down somewhere here in my studio with all the other scraps of paper and pieces of thing that I need to do something with, i.e. it’s not on the wall–yet. Also beside the point. The point is, I took it as a sign.

Found it!

Possibly as you’re reading this, I am on my way to or already in Taiwan. Whoa! My son invited me to go, I took a breath (many breaths, really) and said YES. He wants me to go enough to have bought me a ticket! And he wants us to rent bikes and ride the coast. As I said, I took many breaths. But I thought, If I don’t do a thing like this now, at 71, when would I? And even though just the fact that he asked is enough in itself to make me feel very much loved and happy, the actual going will have to be even more amazing. I can just imagine the opening that will happen, with so many new experiences.

So I will fly to California and visit siblings and their kids and then, from there, fly for 14 hours to Taipei. (Many many breaths.) In Taipei, the Taiwan Lantern Festival will be taking place. Whoa. My eyeballs will be filled with the wonder of it all. The theme of the Festival is “Light Up the Future.” It is a celebration of blessings, ushering in the first full moon of the Lunar New Year. It is all about hope, light, and reaching new heights. I feel that it fits right in with that scrap of paper commanding me to “Open! Open! Open!”

I will report back upon my return.

“Make your ego porous. Will is of little importance, complaining is nothing, fame is nothing. Openness, patience, receptivity, solitude is everything.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke

“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox . . . . ” ― Tony Schwartz

“That’s the funny thing about life. Extraordinary things can happen to ordinary people like you and me, but only if we open ourselves up enough to let them.” ― Mike Gayle, All the Lonely People

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Bicycle Bicycle!

The tunnel at Rocheport MO on the Katy Trail

Last summer my son visited from NYC for three months and we bicycled together a lot. I had been meaning to bike more after my last visit to NYC and Montreal, where I rode city bikes with my boys. So I got my bike fixed up. But that was November and I only rode twice before it seemed too cold to ride.

I say “seemed” because now I’ve learned that it is not often that it’s “too cold” to ride or do anything outside, at least in mid-Missouri. I rode one chilly day this fall and decided 45 degrees was as cold as I could do. Wrong! My son is back here again and we rode the other night in 28 degrees, with no sun and plenty of wind, at 5:00 p.m. Now that was cold! Bone-chilling, even with my newly purchased windproof/waterproof gloves, wool gaiter and hat, and shoe covers I’d inherited from a friend. Brr. But! Still fun!

When I get on my bike (I say “my” although it is a super-cool bike on longterm loan from an apparently very good friend), I feel like a kid, zooming down the street, whatever the temperature. The freedom! The air in my face! Though when it’s cold or very hot, I hesitate to go, I always end up wondering why I was reluctant. Because every time I leave my driveway, standing up on the pedals and sailing down the street, I feel so free and happy! It’s worth those first few minutes to get out there and feel like a kid. I could easily come home and build a blanket fort in the living room for the way it makes me feel. With baloney and ketchup saltine cracker sandwiches.

I am certainly not a big time cyclist like others, not by a long shot–but maybe I don’t need to be. My sons have taken many long, challenging rides in all kinds of places. Cole, for example, cycled the coast of Vietnam by himself last winter and is now hoping to one day cycle the entire coast of Taiwan. My friend Julie rode 3,000 miles in 2019! And loads of people ride across Missouri or Kansas or the U.S. or Europe every year. I have done none of those things and maybe I never will. But I have fun the minute I get on that bike.

“When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking.” – Arthur Conan Doyle

My longterm loan super-cool bike, resting by a creek
My first bike was a turquoise and white girls’ bike with fenders that rose to a peak down the middle. It was a surprise birthday gift, my Dad’s idea, a thing I had not asked for or even dreamed I’d get. We girls used to try to ride our big brothers’ bikes and we were neither welcome nor very able to do it. So I was thrilled to have a bike of my very own. And then when we moved into the City, just a mile or two from Forest Park, we girls zoomed around the neighborhood on our bikes, getting all scratched up through bushes, and up and down little hills. There was definitely gaiety involved then.

Now, at 69, I want to do everything my body will let me do, all the things I can that feed my soul. I want to be outdoors as much as possible. I want to camp and hike and mess around creek beds, rivers, lakes, and the ocean. And I want to ride my bike!

“Nothing compares to the simple pleasure of riding a bike.” – John F Kennedy

I hope you take as much time as you can for fun and whatever sort of adventure feeds your soul.If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems on here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”