help – Kay Foley

I made a whole bunch of these adorable little gift tags.

I’m tired, I’m beat, but I’m determined to write this letter tonight, Sunday night, to be sent out in the morning. I do take this very seriously! I just wrapped up my Studio Sale, complete with a small plumbing catastrophe during setup, barely recovered from a bad cold (not Covid!), and I am tired.

We had an amazing turnout! We required masks. We had low expectations. It was just two of us artists, hoping to sell some things and we pulled it together rather last-minute. I had thought, initially, that I didn’t have much, but I got to work on small things I thought might appeal. I came up with accordion fold Christmas cards, tiny handmade paper gift cards, garlands from collected leaves, plus art and photos that I already had. Meg had lots of her charming and zany glass pieces–zany Portraits of Alarm, Christmas ornaments, hearts, little boxes, and beautiful single earrings.

The aftermath of the plumbing catastrophe

Saturday morning I had suddenly felt like I was over my cold, like my old self, energetic and determined. I was getting everything set up. Things were going well. Then I opened the downstairs closet and discovered all kinds of stuff in there was soaking wet. The upstairs bathroom (lead) drain pipes were leaking through the ceiling, through my stuffed animals (yes, mine), ball caps, too many jackets and secondhand wool and/or cashmere coats, plus couch covers and all manner of bits and bobs that I stuff into that closet in the vain hope that the rest of the house might look presentable. Soaking wet. Falling drywall tape and soggy bits of drywall paste all over the things and the floor. And I presumed it was all soaked with toilet water. Ack!

Things can turn on a dime, can’t they? Humming right along one moment, in crisis mode the next.

I didn’t quite manage to get these cards finished. 🙁

And then a great guy comes right over to take a look. Applies a Band-Aid (epoxy) to the pipes. Fingers crossed. Terrible night of “sleep,” with Miles waking me at 4:00 and again at 5:30 a.m. Headache, bone-tired. Then today an amazing show, terrific turnout, no one bothered by the mask requirement, everyone excited to be here, all kinds of people I’ve never seen at my shows before, new people, lovely people, so happy to be here, especially a lovely older (aren’t I older?) woman whose first name is Bliss! Sweet, lovely, engaging. I forgot to put on music. We failed to give out the door prizes. It had been so long since either of us had done a show that we both forgot to get cash for making change. We’ve offered no cookies, no hot chocolate, nothing at all but art. And yet we’ve knocked this show out of the park! Woohoo!!

Things can turn on a dime, can’t they? In crisis mode one moment, bad sleep, etc., and then–amazing show.

It seemed that people were just really ready for an event. And that we did offer. And it was well received. Interesting times we’re in.

Help, thanks, and wow, boom boom boom, just like that. Thank you, everyone!

“Be thankful for everything that happens in your life; it’s all an experience.”

― Roy T. Bennett

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

― Epicurus

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

Here we are already at Thanksgiving Week and this morning as I was writing I thought of Anne Lamott’s book Help Thanks Wow: The Three Essential Prayers. Although I have not read this one of hers, and I would not call myself a person of faith, I love what is suggested by the title. Ask for help when you need it. Be grateful for what you have. Let yourself be amazed. Boom. That’s a pretty decent recipe for a good life, a happy life. The simplicity of those three words really works for me.

I had my very good friends over for Friendsgiving Brunch today. The whole of it was just lovely. Nine of us managed to squeeze around my grandmother’s old oak dining table, opened to its capacity. I used the good china, my tarnished silverware, cloth napkins, and champagne flutes for mimosas. There was lots of food, great freewheeling conversation, and my two dogs passing through. We ate, as we usually do, with gusto.

As I had just been thinking about Help Thanks Wow, I found a little fancy pencil that I thought could do as a wand and I suggested that we go around the table, passing the wand and each saying what we need help with, what we’re thankful for, and what we find amazing. This group doesn’t particularly need a push when it comes to meaningful conversation, but the wand worked some magic, anyway. Each of us dug a little deeper than we might otherwise have done. Each of us took a thoughtful pause.

I love little rituals like this. It did not dampen our spirits to get a little serious. There were still some jokes and laughs and our usual conviviality. And as we took turns and listened, we learned new things about each other.

I am wowed by these four sycamore trees over and over again.

Each Thanksgiving morning I write down, in my Morning Pages, a list of everything I’m thankful for. I like reminding myself of what a huge list I can make. I like getting down to the tiny things. But I think it’s also very good to think about what we need help with, i.e., what we need. Most of us don’t ask for help particularly well and many of us have trouble identifying what it is we need. And I’m not talking about help fixing the fence or hemming a pair of pants. What is it that gives you trouble, spiritually, socially, philosophically? It can be helpful just to lay it out there. You can think of it as seeking help from the universe or from God or just help from those who love you. Sometimes just saying it can move us along.

What do you need help with? What are you thankful for? What amazes you?

“I do not understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.” ― Anne Lamott

“Needing help doesn’t have a look, but asking for it always looks beautiful.”

― Brittany Burgunder

“Being first to ask for help in a friendship takes courage and humility.”

― Afton Rorvik, Storm Sisters: Friends Though All Seasons

Thanks for listening,
Kay

Tag: help

Nickels & Dimes

Help Thanks Wow