Tag: meditation

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Walking As Reset

We sure have a lot to worry and fret about these days–our own health and whatever problems we might be having, challenges our friends and family members are facing (so numerous these days), and lately, the very serious, heavy and daunting news of the world. Although I am not at all a news hound, I can get overwhelmed by the little I read and hear in the news. This past week, whenever I’ve felt grumpy about the weather, my petty grievances, or my various silly irritations, I’ve been saying to myself, “You’re not in Ukraine.” It does help to put things in perspective, though it doesn’t solve anything. I know that right now, I am exceptionally lucky. Even though I have worries and fears, they are not for myself. I am lucky.

For me, walking outdoors is usually the antidote to any negative thoughts, worries, or fears I’m harboring. This is what helps me most to shake off a bad mood, even in the cold, and especially with a friend and/or a dog–but even on my own. I often walk alone or just with my sweet dog Miles. But I do, too, love to walk with friends. I remember a particular recent time when I had been indoors most of the day, getting more and more frustrated with my computer and technology in general, and I suddenly texted my neighbor for a walk. And she said yes! I rushed out into the street and waited for her. As I breathed in that cold, clear air I grew calmer and calmer. As if I was meditating. Just breathing. In with the good, out with the bad. Ahh.

And then off we went. Fast. We walk at a similar fast, energetic pace. Not jogging or even speed walking, but fast enough to feel it. Not too fast that we can’t talk, vent, and sometimes rant. That day I ranted and pretty soon we were both laughing. And then the sun was setting behind all the bare neighborhood trees and it was just beautiful.

When I got home I felt totally reset. My brain, my soul, my body, my day had all been reset. The button had been pressed. Such a blessed relief. Walking is the best. It doesn’t even have to be in nature or in any particular kind of spot. My son loves to walk all over New York City and when I go there, we walk and walk and walk. I suspect he gets the same beautiful benefits there. In with the good, out with the bad. Walking as meditation.

“Exploring the world is one of the best ways of exploring the mind, and walking travels both terrains.” ― Rebecca Solnit, Wanderlust: A History of Walking

“But the beauty is in the walking — we are betrayed by destinations.” ― Gwyn Thomas

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”― Ellen DeGeneres

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems right here on my blog.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Being Cheesy

I recently heard that there’s a saying in meditation that goes, “If you can’t be cheesy, you’ll never be free.” Wow. That really got me excited. I must be very free! I really can be cheesy, I feel. I read Tarot cards, especially to start a new year. Runes, too. I even have a rune tattoo. Bit of a regret on that, but oh well. But are these things cheesy or actually woo-woo? Hmm. That’s a hard one. I believe I’m pretty good at both, though my heart does draw the line at certain things in the woo-woo category.

But that is neither here nor there. Merriam-Webster defines cheesy as 1) “resembling or suggesting cheese especially in consistency or odor” (terribly literal, don’t you think?) and 2) “shabby, cheap.” It offers a whole slew of terrible synonyms for that second definition, e.g. dowdy, inelegant, tacky, tasteless, trashy, unfashionable, unstylish.

Clearly, this is not exactly what the meditation teachers are meaning (especially that bit about actual cheese). No. And regarding definition #2, in meditation you’re not supposed to be stylish to begin with! Hats, for example, are not worn, let alone truly fashionable top hats. In my opinion, meditators clearly mean being willing to do things that are, God forbid, not “cool” in the traditional sense, like hugging a perfectly beautiful tree or taking a yoga pose in the gate area of an airport. Wearing a Mad Hatter hat to greet one’s son at selfsame airport. Running up and down the little hills on a trail with arms spread out, playing “Airplane.” Singing “Good Night, Irene” or “Good Night, Lady” to one’s adult son every night before bed.

They mean being willing to risk looking or seeming silly, childlike, inelegant, woo-woo, naive, uncool, gullible or unrefined. And let’s just go on and say it–doing so for the greater good, i.e. for the sake of fun, a lighter heart, a new experience, vulnerability, intimacy, openness, perhaps even personal or spiritual growth–and thus becoming freer. That’s what I think, anyway.

So go ahead and hide an Easter basket for your adult son, husband, wife, lover! Go ahead and sing a little something at bedtime. Sing a little something to a perfect stranger! Find yourself a huggable tree and give it a loving embrace every time you pass by. Buy yourself a tube or two of Bathtub Soap Paint and have a ball in the tub. Or buy yourself an adorable plush snowman to have on your lap like a baby while you watch TV in the evening.

I would love to hear what you do that is cheesy.

“Do a loony-goony dance

‘Cross the kitchen floor,

Put something silly in the world

That ain’t been there before.”

― Shel Silverstein, A Light in the Attic

“‘Coolness’ is too transient to be of any real and meaningful, lasting significance, and it is often in great conflict with one being one’s most honest, most vulnerable self. ” ― Criss Jami, Healology

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Borrowing Joy

I began meditating in 2020. That is to say, I began meditating daily. I had been doing those Oprah and Deepak Chopra 21-day meditations or, rather, starting them (but usually not finishing) for several years. But I had never gotten into a meditation habit, and certainly not without music and someone leading it. Too impatient. Too many things I wanted to be doing. Too many thoughts and ideas. I cannot say what changed in me but somehow I now meditate for 25 minutes each morning. I put this in my list of positive things that came from Covid. Did it? I don’t know. But then a) I have no real schedule or place to be in the morning and b) it finally seemed like a pleasant and good thing to do when pleasant and good things to do were scarcer than usual.

One of the teachers I’ve listened to, Tuere Sala, on Ten Percent Happier, gave a short talk and led a meditation on “borrowing joy.” The idea is that if you are not feeling particularly joyful and you just can’t get there on your own, you think of someone, person or animal, that exhibits joy frequently. And then you “borrow” joy from this role model. You imagine yourself as that joyful being, you picture what joy looks like, embodied by that particular being, and you put yourself into that picture.

This was a no-brainer. Miles. My dog Miles is the most joyful being I know. Just this morning in the woods he went racing up to a total stranger, his body curving in excitement and his stumpy tail going a million miles a minute. She was, of course, charmed. And then later he did the same to another woman who marveled at what a wonderful, friendly, happy dog he is. “Yes, he is,” I said. And then, to be polite, added, “Thank you.” But I don’t know why. His joyful self is no reflection on me. He just is. He is exuberance and enthusiasm embodied. Merriment, gladness and delight. My beautiful Miles.

He had been given away by a breeder (he is rather large for a miniature poodle) to a woman who had adopted several children and who ultimately decided she could not keep him. The breeder had said that he had a gentle soul. Oh yes. The most gentle soul ever. He would rather do anything than be an alpha dog. He leans to go one way and I say, “Let’s go this way.” And his face lights up as if this is the best idea ever, as if to say, “Oh yes! That way is so much better! I love that way!”

He is the best role model a person could want for joie de vivre. The perfect being from whom to borrow joy. My Miles. You are welcome to borrow his joy, too, if you need some.

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Equanimity

Well, I had written a letter to send out on Thursday but I’d written it the previous Sunday, the Sunday before the horrifying events of Wednesday, January 6th. I did not have the heart to send out what was a nice letter but wholly inappropriate to the day. And I felt mired in the muck of Wednesday, unable to write or accomplish anything.

I, like most people, have a very difficult time maintaining equanimity in the face of terrible events. Equanimity or “mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation” is challenging in the best of times. But in the face of huge, painful events, it’s easy for the healthiest of us to fall into despair, become stuck, angry, or depressed. There are those whose words we can look to, however, heroes who continued to rise above and keep going. Martin Luther King, Jr. was one of those. He once wrote,

“If you can’t fly, then run; if you can’t run, then walk; if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

And his life exemplified that very thing of moving forward, stalwart, in the face of racism, scorn, and danger.

On Thursday, in my despairing state, I listened to a short meditation on equanimity by Roshi Joan Halifax. As a mantra, she suggested the words strong back. I like this because it’s simple, understandable, and easily imagined as a symbol of strength of character, self-containment, and yes, equanimity. A strong back holds us upright, enables us to do many things, ensures that we remain rooted in who we are and what we believe. We don’t waver; we don’t collapse; we are who we are, regardless of what’s going on around us.

Soft front (gentle heart), strong back.

“Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

ENC 309 Tree Within

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you like this letter, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

It’s nice for me to think of you out there, reading this. I hope we all weather this crisis with soft hearts while standing strong for what is right.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”