Tag: resolutions

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New Year’s Day – Another Chance

Last night I rewatched the last two episodes of Ted Lasso, since I’m letting my subscription go. I heard again this great Ted quote: “You know, I don’t know about you, but I hope that either all of us, or none of us, are judged by the actions of our weakest moments, but rather, by the strength we show when, and if, we’re ever given a second chance.”

Second chances is a theme throughout the show. So what is New Year’s Day but a chance to do better and be better, a chance to make our actions match our heart’s best intentions?

This could be said, of course, for any new day, week, or even moment. Do better, be better, try again. So you’ve just said something unkind (we all do). Do better. Soften, apologize, say the kind thing. It’s always possible to change the next moment, to start again, to create our own second chances if we have to, and make good on them.

I love New Year’s Day for formalizing the setting of intentions. It’s a beautiful opportunity to give yourself a second chance at being your best self, at setting personal goals and working hard to follow them through, at looking back over the year that just ended with honesty, gratitude, and clarity. What did I set out to do and what did I actually do? What might I want to do differently in the coming year?

I’m writing this on December 31st, my day to look back over the year. Like young Woody Guthrie (above), I did wash my teeth, take baths and change my socks. I read lots of good books, loved my others and made up my mind about some things. Today I wrote out a list of the big things I did in 2023. There were lots of them. Again, I shake my head at my lucky life. I thank the universe or God or the angels or whomever is responsible. Tomorrow I will write out my intentions for 2024. I will include things like “Open the mail when it arrives,” along with higher goals. A friend invited me to make 2024 the Year of Yes. Of course I said YES.

New Year’s Resolutions are an invitation to say yes and give yourself another chance. Why not take it?

“Every Saint has a past. Every Sinner has a future.” ― Oscar Wilde

“You can’t go back and make a new start, but you can start right now and make a brand-new ending. — James P. Sherman, Rejection

“There’s always a second act. Always.” ― Ken Liu, Speaking Bones

“Somehow, miraculously, everything had fallen into place as it was supposed to all along. Through heartbreak and sorrow, sacrifice and drudgery, through hope lost and hope regained, I’d learned little by little to be honest. To pay attention. To seek joy. And through all the ups and downs, the tears and bittersweet lessons, my lemon of a life had gradually been transformed into this—the most deliciously sweet, perfectly imperfect second chance I could ever imagine.” ― Rachel Linden, The Magic of Lemon Drop Pie

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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So Far, So Good

9:30 a.m. on this New Year’s Day I asked one of my dog walking friends the usual “How are you?” and he says, “I’m okay. It’s been a good year, so far.”

New Year’s Day. I know people say Oh, it’s just another day, like any other. But it’s really not. It’s an auspicious day. Why not let it be so? Why not treat this day (or any day, if you like) as what it is–a grand new start to whatever you can dream up? Why not let the fact that it’s the first day of a new week (as it is this year), a new month, and a new year whisper to you that this might be the first day of what could easily be your best year yet? It could! And why not set intentions for the year, choose a word, do some little rituals of ending and beginning? Why the hell not??

Obviously, I love these kinds of things. I love having an excuse to make grand plans, to think of the year as shiny and new, to start out with a great big full heart.

Intentions for 2023

1. Say YES more often.
2. Stay open to possibility.
3. Learn something new.
4. Spend as much time as I can a) in nature b) with people and dogs that I love c) doing things I love d) having fun e) on my own.
5. Be kind.
6. Fix up my house.

There. That’s a good start. I apologize for the brevity of this letter. Honestly, I’ve been so busy on this New Year’s Day doing some of the things on my list (saying yes, staying open, having fun with friends I love, walking in the woods with Miles) that I haven’t had the chance to sit down and do some proper year end/year beginning writing! But I will. And I’ll give you a big old fabulous, magical and inspiring Neil Gaiman quote (below) to make up for it.

So far, 2023 has been a great year for me, too.

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” ― Brad Paisley

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.” ― T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets

“We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives . . . not looking for flaws, but for potential.” ― Ellen Goodman

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”
― Neil Gaiman
If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”
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Welcome All

I love January because it’s the start of a new year and I always start the year off with resolutions, sometimes with just one but often more. Today I wrote about my intentions for 2022 (paint and write more), things I want to accomplish (lose 13.5 pounds, fix up the house), ways I’d like to change (get back to my regular exercise routine) or places I want to go (Greece, the Riviera Maya, the Tetons, NYC, California). This year, though I have many intentions, I have one resolution only, and that is to take this poem by Rumi to heart.

The Guest House by Jalal al-Din Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

​A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

​Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

​The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

​Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

I LOVE this poem. I have loved it for years. What I love about it is the idea of allowing. Allowing difficulty and loss through the door, because they’re going to come in, regardless. Might as well welcome them. Don’t we all need this idea right now? Along with the good and kind and loving who stop by regularly, we do have unwelcome visitors, too, so unwelcome that we’d much rather shove them away. But can they really be guides from beyond? If we let them in, aren’t we really just being passive? I think not. I think it takes strength to stay open to whatever comes. It’s not easy to relax into being changed for the better by the unwelcome. It’s not that easy to relax with difficulty or loss, at all. We use tough words like fight and battle and win or lose around illness, social issues, grief, just about anything. And when we want to make positive changes, we use hard words like work, strive, and resolve. What if we tried to use a new language of gratitude and acceptance?

I love, too, that Rumi includes as unexpected guests our own dark thoughts, shame, unkindnesses, of which I certainly have my share. What can we do with those, instead of furiously growing them bigger and harder and meaner inside us? How could we welcome them in, laughing, and thank them for opening our eyes to ourselves? And when we recognize those dark thoughts, could we let them teach us rather than shame us and make us smaller in our own eyes? We could.

So here are some questions I plan to ask myself when something bad or difficult happens, when I’m feeling injured by the news, a loss, a word, or when I have an unkind thought.

a) Am I willing to be changed for the better by this?

b) How can this help me grow?

c) In what good ways can I be changed by this?

I haven’t had a big party in a long time. I’d like to metaphorically open the door, spread my arms wide to every guest, and call out,”Welcome! Thank you for coming!”
If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”
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A Bright New Year

I know that many people are anxious to put 2020 behind them. But I never want to trash a whole year–and aren’t there always good things about any year you’ve lived through? I’ll just answer for you–yes. Even so, I do love celebrating the start of a new one.

A new year offers the chance to make grand plans, set good intentions and move forward. To be the best version of yourself. To embrace the perfect, true Self that Deepak Chopra says we all possess, that can never be altered or broken. January, set in the cold dark winter, is, for me, energizing and full of promise.

“And now let us believe in a long year that is given to us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been.”

Rainer Maria Rilke

So first, on New Year’s Eve I like to consider what I want to leave behind before starting a new year. These have to be things that I have the power to leave behind, like my attitude about something, a habit or way of thinking that doesn’t serve me well, or hurts and slights that I haven’t let go of. Sometimes I write them on pieces of paper and burn them, for good measure.

And then on New Year’s Day I write New Year’s Resolutions. Always. This year I’m going to take one thing I’ve learned from 2020 and build on it. Let’s all do it!

Pick out one particular difficulty, one frailty you’ve struggled with, one aspect of the year that was particularly trying. Then use it as a new way of seeing who you are, a discovery, or a new direction. And instead of hoping to be rid of it, how about embracing it and making it your biggest ally in 2021? If you struggled with loneliness, for example, you could see that as your capacity for loving people. This is a strength. Make it a goal to connect with people in new ways, whether you can be with them or not. Celebrate this gift–your love of others–and connect in creative, new, original ways.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Mary Oliver

This card, Life Well Lived, expresses a wish I have for all of us.

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you like this letter, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

It’s nice for me to think of you out there, reading this. I know that your one difficulty will turn out to be a great strength in 2021.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Resolutions

I resolve the usual improvements 
to self and life once again nothing
earth-shattering in my striving:
the desire to be a nicer person,
pay my bills on time, achieve
a lifelong goal never much altered
one year to the next.  Not
to give up smoking nor to 
take it up nor to stop cursing
go back to church
visit the sick and elderly
eschew the eating of beef.
But I do make a list as
silly as that might seem 
and in its dull serious
repetition is written a failure
of sorts that I resolve to accept.
And overcome.  Next year.