Tag: sketchbook

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Letting the Heart Fill Back Up

Last week I wrote about my project to fill a sketchbook with lists, for a local show. Well, I have filled up my sketchbook but without a single list. Scrapped the whole idea after messing up a few pages with lists that I deemed “lame” and unworthy of hanging on a wall at the Columbia Art League.

I’ve completed the sketchbook way ahead of time, though, choosing to write about death, instead. I don’t see why I wouldn’t. Death is inevitable. Last week it came for a sweet, humble, warm-hearted artist here in our community, out of the blue and at the too young age of 64. He was a man who, because of his lovely nature, anyone who even barely knew him could call “friend.” Beloved by all, his death was unexpected and a blow.

So I’ve written about death–just my random thoughts, since I do ruminate on death quite a lot, anyway. At the same time I’ve made three happy paintings as an antidote to all the darkness. And I’m working on letting my heart fill back up, staying in the present, trying to focus on the moments when Miles is bouncy and lively, rather than when he’s struggling. I am working on accepting what is.

But the “what is” can be enormous and terrible, if I look beyond my own small life. “What is” includes suffering in many parts of the world and major disappointments here in the U.S. As to accepting all of that, I am baffled. I’m reminded of a line from the movie “Living Out Loud,” when Holly Hunter is watching the news on TV and says aloud, “What am I supposed to do with all of this information?”

What, indeed.

Today I took a walk from my house, down to the trail and back up again, while listening to a beautiful meditation. In my ear I heard, “How are you right now?” Well, right then I was looking at the beautiful early morning sunlight through the leaves, blue sky up above, and admittedly I felt lucky. Sometimes I find it hard to hold onto those moments, but again and again I will be asking myself, “How are you right now?” Right now I am fine.

“Emotions are like waves. Watch them disappear in the distance on the vast calm ocean.” ― Ram Dass, Be Here Now

“Instead of forcing yourself to feel positive, allow yourself to be present in the now.” ― Daniel Mangena, Stepping Beyond Intention

“Think about every good thing in your life right now. Free yourself of worrying. Let go of the anxiety, breathe. Stay positive, all is well.” ― Germany Kent

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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List Making

Here’s the sketchbook in shadow, including one of Miles’ head

Challenge from our local arts group: purchase for $15 a small sketchbook, fill it up and return it for a Sketchbook Show in September. I considered, decided no, and then, partly because of my vow to enter every show this year, relented. I had also come up with an idea.

The sketchbooks are made of plain paper, not great for either painting or collage. Thus, my initial hesitation. I decided to do something I’ve wanted to do for a long time: make a book of lists. So I’m off. La!

So far I’ve made a list of lists. I’ve taken paint to every other page, scraped on with credit cards. This is a thing I love to do. Then I shall handwrite the lists over or facing the painted pages. I might put in odd little drawings or . . . ? That’s the rough outline and anyway, once again, this little world is my oyster, so I can do anything I want.

I feel that with lists, one can go anywhere. Things Miles Likes to Eat. Favorite Books. Attributes of the East-Facing Window. Odd Words and Their Definitions. Dogs I’ve Loved. People I’ve Lost. My Thoughts on Death. Things I Do Every Morning. Things I Do on Sundays. Complaints. Worries About the World & My Little Piece of It. My Best Attributes. Things I Feel Guilty About. Etc.

Since these books will not be for sale (I don’t think) mine will make a nice compact record of this time in my life. I’m pretty excited about the project.

Doe and baby, right out back!

The books will be hung on the wall, open, so that patrons can look through them. The idea is to show your process as an artist. I don’t sketch, generally, so mine will show my process as a thinker. I do, as you may have guessed, have many thoughts.

The next show, actually coming up before the Sketchbook Show, will be “Lush,” meant to “celebrate the richness and vitality of the natural world.” As I typed those last few words, I heard a noise outside and turned to see a young spotted fawn cavorting across the yard. A doe and her two fawns are often out back, as well as a pair of barred owls. Yes, it’s pretty lush out there right about now. And this morning is cool enough to have the house open, leaf shadow dancing across my desk. Ahh. Richness and vitality, indeed.

“The list could surely go on, and there is nothing more wonderful than a list, instrument of wondrous hypotyposis.” ― Umberto Eco, The Name of the Rose

“We have a limit, a very discouraging, humiliating limit: death. That’s why we like all the things that we assume have no limits and, therefore, no end. It’s a way of escaping thoughts about death. We make lists because we don’t want to die.” ― Umberto Eco

“Forget your to-do list and create a to-be list.”― Frank Sonnenberg, Listen to Your Conscience

“I love lists. Always have. When I was 14, I wrote down every dirty word I knew on file cards and placed them in alphabetical order. I have a thing about collections, and a list is a collection with purchase.” ― Adam Savage

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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A Good Day

A couple of pages in my sketchbook with pastels, paint pens and oil crayon

Yesterday I made three paintings, start to finish, on 9″ x 12″ paper. Usually I’ve wanted to paint on biggish canvases. And I work on them for many days, weeks, or even months, changing this or that, maybe changing them completely by the time I’m happy with them. But I made those three paintings and loved them all, in just a few hours!

It was so much fun! I did not intend for any of them to be complete paintings. I was just playing around with stuff, trying out on bigger paper some of the things I’d been doing in my sketchbook. Mixing pastels with acrylic paints. Adding bits of collage. Etc.

I made this earlier in the week, on cheap paper, very unlike my usual bright palette. Love it anyway!

Ever since I saw the Georgia O’Keefe show at MoMA last summer, I’ve been playing with pastels, always along with another medium. Fun! She was experimenting with media and I wanted to, too. I really know nothing about how to properly use pastels but I’ve had a box of them for years and years. I love the tactile enjoyment of spreading the color around on the paper with my fingers, mixing the colors together, making that lovely soft layer. And then I love the surprises that happen when I try something else on top of it.

I taped off the edges of three pieces of watercolor paper from a partially used pad of paper I bought at a thrift shop for $3. So right there, I had very little at stake, in terms of cost. But taping the edges does give a certain finished look to a painting, even one you’re just playing around with, sort of sets a brief that says, “You are making a painting.” And one does want to make something pleasing whenever possible. One doesn’t want to end up with something that looks like “a dog’s breakfast,” as the Brits say.

This is my favorite of the three paintings from yesterday.

I used all kinds of things on these. Fun! Pastel, acrylic paint, pieces of gel plate prints that I had previously made on deli paper (so much fun right there), Posca pens, scraps of previously painted paper, a bit of oil pastel, a tiny scrap of origami paper on two of them. I did not use a brush on them at all, just a handy old credit card for applying paint. I just had a glorious time, playing about with all of these things, like a child. That’s the thing about painting. It takes one back to childhood, at least if as a kid you had crayons or a box of paints. And even moreso if you use your fingers.

But then to also LOVE the finished pieces–well, that is a huge bonus! And it does not always happen. It was a good day.

“It’s a good day to have a good day.”— Hoda Kotb

“Waking up this morning, I smile. 24 brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

“As you wait for better days, don’t forget to enjoy today, in case they’ve already started.” — Robert Breault

“None of us knows what will happen. Don’t spend time worrying about it. Make the most beautiful thing you can. Try to do that every day. That’s it.” — Laurie Anderson

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”
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Time

Lately, I’m feeling the reality of being 70 years old. What I mean is, I am keenly aware that 70 years of my life are behind me. The time I have left is limited. Of course, that is true for everyone, at every moment. I have these words of Jack Kornfield up on my refrigerator: “The trouble is . . . you think you have time.” I’ve had it there for a long time and I don’t think of it as depressing, but just as a reminder that we need to not waste any of that limited time.

So, in me, of late, being 70 manifests as wanting to do so many things! There is just so much out there to learn and do and experience–and less time in which to do it. I find myself signing up for all sorts of art workshops, learning about meditation, planning trips for the future (one more hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and possibly cycling the coast of Taiwan with my son!), and always finding another and another cool thing that I want to do while I still can. I just do not want to miss out.

Here is one of the poems I wrote as a result of a challenge I gave myself back in 2010.

“While I still can” are the meaningful words.

One thing that I love to do is accept and/or impose upon myself challenges. There is something about them that lights a spark in me and I usually go all in on them. I set myself the challenge of writing a poem a day for 49 days in honor of my friend Pam, who died at 49. I ended up doing it for over a year–and I loved the discipline of doing that, along with my daily morning writing. (You can find all of those poems here.) Then there are 14-day meditation challenges from Ten Percent Happier, 21-day challenges from Deepak Chopra, and right now a 30-Day Sketchbook Challenge that I have accepted. This is another one of those online art offerings. There is just so much out there that I want to do and learn and love.

Pages from Day 2 of the 30-Day Sketchbook Challenge

I am only on Day 3 of this Sketchbook Challenge but I have already learned or discovered several pretty great new things and each morning I can’t wait to get going on the next one. How cool is that? Very.

So what’s next? I don’t know but I am ready to find out. Oh, well, I’ve signed up for two free online workshops and I might take a third one using watercolor and gold leaf. Now it seems that everyone who has an art or meditation workshop on offer has my number on Facebook and Instagram, but that’s okay with me. Bring it! I want to know.

Think about it. The world and the internet are full of so many amazing things ready to fill you up! You think you have time? Fill it up with all the things. You think you don’t have time? You do.

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.” ― Anthony G. Oettinger

“How did it get so late so soon?”― Dr. Seuss

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” ― Marthe Troly-Curtin

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”