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On the Second Day of Summer

On the second evening of summer, from here at my desk and with the house all closed up against the heat, I could hear cicadas singing. I love them. I love them very much and as far as I had observed, this was their first chorus of the summer. I usually try to also notice their last song of the summer, but I’ve never yet been successful at that.

I stepped outside to my narrow balcony and they settled back down, as they do. Birds were carrying on and at the back of the yard, the barred owl took up calling. My neighbors were playing fiddle and guitar. And then, in the distance, I could hear the barred owl’s mate answering the call. As I turned my head in the hope of seeing it, I saw the tiniest sliver of a crescent moon in the Western sky. It must have risen very early. Next, a couple of fireflies lit and the cicadas made a false start at singing again.

Well, I don’t know that I need to say that I just stood there against the railing shaking my head and smiling in wonderment. I mean, wouldn’t you? One loveliness after another within a span of five minutes. Oh sure, these are all small things. The hum of life. The music of summer. The little pretties. All these things that make my heart glad.

I want to be that person who needs nothing more than these small things, ever. I want to to be the one who lets all grievances and petty irritations flutter on by. I want to remain unruffled by whatever little thises and thats wave in my face, trying to get a rise out of me. I want the kind of equanimity that keeps me sailing smoothly along, moment to moment, past the moments of beauty, all the way through the other decidedly not beautiful ones.

I do have equanimity sometimes. There are definitely moments, minutes, even hours or days when these small things are enough. I had no petty grievances right then, that evening. I am unruffled at times. And shouldn’t that be enough then, along with the cicadas, the owls, the crescent moon, the fireflies, the music? Just right then? No one is unruffled always. No one is consistently possessed of equanimity, not even the Dalai Lama. Where would the passion be? The life! The humanity.

So, since we are humans, these small moments of beauty and of contentment, brief or lasting, simply have to be enough. They are the gifts. And then we bumble along through the rest and we wait patiently for the next round of gifts that truly do come. And polite as we are, we say, “Thank you.”

“While getting lost in all those little things that seem so important, don’t forget the little things that matter . . .”― Virginia Alison

“The small things of life were often so much bigger than the great things . . . the trivial pleasure like cooking, one’s home, little poems especially sad ones, solitary walks, funny things seen and overheard.” ― Barbara Pym, Less Than Angels

“I live to enjoy life by the littlest things . . . Just the feeling itself of being alive, the absolute amazing fact that we are here right now, breathing, thinking, doing.” ― Marigold Wellington

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Help Thanks Wow

Here we are already at Thanksgiving Week and this morning as I was writing I thought of Anne Lamott’s book Help Thanks Wow: The Three Essential Prayers. Although I have not read this one of hers, and I would not call myself a person of faith, I love what is suggested by the title. Ask for help when you need it. Be grateful for what you have. Let yourself be amazed. Boom. That’s a pretty decent recipe for a good life, a happy life. The simplicity of those three words really works for me.

I had my very good friends over for Friendsgiving Brunch today. The whole of it was just lovely. Nine of us managed to squeeze around my grandmother’s old oak dining table, opened to its capacity. I used the good china, my tarnished silverware, cloth napkins, and champagne flutes for mimosas. There was lots of food, great freewheeling conversation, and my two dogs passing through. We ate, as we usually do, with gusto.

Photo courtesy of Bonnie Conley

As I had just been thinking about Help Thanks Wow, I found a little fancy pencil that I thought could do as a wand and I suggested that we go around the table, passing the wand and each saying what we need help with, what we’re thankful for, and what we find amazing. This group doesn’t particularly need a push when it comes to meaningful conversation, but the wand worked some magic, anyway. Each of us dug a little deeper than we might otherwise have done. Each of us took a thoughtful pause.

I love little rituals like this. It did not dampen our spirits to get a little serious. There were still some jokes and laughs and our usual conviviality. And as we took turns and listened, we learned new things about each other.

I am wowed by these four sycamore trees over and over again.

Each Thanksgiving morning I write down, in my Morning Pages, a list of everything I’m thankful for. I like reminding myself of what a huge list I can make. I like getting down to the tiny things. But I think it’s also very good to think about what we need help with, i.e., what we need. Most of us don’t ask for help particularly well and many of us have trouble identifying what it is we need. And I’m not talking about help fixing the fence or hemming a pair of pants. What is it that gives you trouble, spiritually, socially, philosophically? It can be helpful just to lay it out there. You can think of it as seeking help from the universe or from God or just help from those who love you. Sometimes just saying it can move us along.

What do you need help with? What are you thankful for? What amazes you?

“I do not understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.” ― Anne Lamott

“Needing help doesn’t have a look, but asking for it always looks beautiful.”

― Brittany Burgunder

“Being first to ask for help in a friendship takes courage and humility.”

― Afton Rorvik, Storm Sisters: Friends Though All Seasons

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”