Month: March 2022

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Paper Rock Scissors

My pretty little storefront

In April, 2006, I opened a shop called Paper Rock Scissors in the charming little town of Rocheport MO, not far at all from my home in Columbia. It was fun while it lasted, and it was another great adventure in leading an artist’s life.

Just the other day I ran across a page of writing in which I was trying to come up with a name for the shop. That page is so full of what I will call youthful exuberance (I was “only” 55 then). Besides trying on names, I was just tossing around words and phrases that were relevant to my life, with a view to finding the perfect name. It’s a page of loose, freewheeling enjoyment of words and images, clearly showing how fun it was for me to go off in this new direction.

“Dog & Bone, carousel, poems, canoe, clouds, Moon & Stars, wishbone, French, umbrellas, heart rocks, woods, twilight, treehouse, birdhouse, dilettante, ooh la la, April, fall down laughing, pen & ink, wonderment, jazz, cat’s pajamas, great panjandrum . . . ” and lots more. I settled on Paper Rock Scissors, which appears second on the list.

Opening the shop was a very fun detour in my art world life, especially getting the shop ready and finding all the things I needed to make it into a proper shop. Here’s the thing, though. The beautiful space in an old red brick building had no bathroom, no heat, and no air conditioning! Somehow, those gorgeous tall windows and high ceilings convinced me that I could make that work! The owner agreed to put a work sink in the basement, since I wanted to move my studio space next to the showroom, but that was all. So I had to go elsewhere for the bathroom when needed, and I thought, well, okay. But no heat? And no air conditioning, with those gorgeous tall south-facing windows?? A bit crazy.

With the help of friends, I really did make that space lovely, though. And I threw a big grand opening party, during which we popped many bottles of champagne. Now and again I get the urge to open up a retail space somewhere. It could be fun!
But I did not like being tied down to open hours and a place day after day. And I did not particularly like having my studio 15 miles from my house. And then there were just so few people. I realized that I had seen fewer people in the year than I had been seeing in a weekend at a halfway decent show. If the studio hadn’t been right there, I would have been bored out of my mind.

No heat and no cooling. Difficult. I got tired of traipsing around town to use someone else’s bathroom. Dumb old reality. I closed up the shop in February of 2007, which turned out to be a lucky move, as I broke my neck that month in a car accident and was laid up for three months. Another story for another day.

So I tried something new, something I’d thought about off and on for years. It was rejuvenating and fun, and I learned a few things about myself along the way. No regrets at all. I am so in favor of taking new directions, following your heart, staying open to wherever it takes you, and changing course if need be.

What might you like to try?

“We all want to break our orbits, float like a satellite gone wild in space, run the risk of disintegration. We all want to take our lives in our own hands and hurl them out among the stars.” ― David Bottoms

“Realize that if a door closed, it’s because what was behind it wasn’t meant for you.” ― Mandy Hale

“From the end spring new beginnings.” ― Pliny the Elder

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here on my blog.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Vernal Equinox

I love that word, “vernal,” which literally means “of or relating to spring.” And equinox, too–equal night–when the sun sits directly above the equator, causing exactly equal hours of day and night in that part of the globe. We in the Northern hemisphere don’t exactly have that but we call March 20 the Vernal Equinox, anyway.

Anticipation of Spring is a wonderful thing as we plod along through the vagaries of winter weather. It is lovely to daydream about what might be stirring underground and within the branches of trees and shrubs. Tiny little bits of life busily organizing themselves to push forth into the warm sunshine. What might it be like deep inside those dark places?

Now it is all beginning. Ahh. The treasure hunt for wildflowers, buds, blooms, color, baby and migrating birds, and delicate greens is on. The courtship of blue and green has begun in nature’s ballroom of sunshine and raindrops. All manner of creatures are stirring, too, in the mud, dreaming of their lives above ground beginning once more. And already I’ve heard the peepers!

I always feel that living where there are four seasons offers the gift of anticipation. We know Spring will come. It’s a given. We don’t ruin it with expectation, as we do often ruin things in life. You can put as much pressure, hope and desire on Spring as you want and it won’t be chased away or ruined. It won’t fail us. It is infallibly itself and will definitely arrive, no matter what we ask of it. And we can rest in the knowing that it will be beautiful.

My paintings, my pickleball skill, my meditation practice might very well be adversely affected by my expectations, taking me out of the moment and stealing my joy in the doing. But Spring exacts no such price. I can daydream, hope, imagine and picture it with great anticipation, and what does it do? It comes and does what it does and it loves everything to pieces, no matter what. And for that I am very grateful.

“It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke

“(such a sky and such a sun
i never knew and neither did you
and everybody never breathed
quite so many kinds of yes)”
— e.e. cummings, Collected Poems

“always
it’s
Spring)and everyone’s
in love and flowers pick themselves”
― e.e. cummings, Collected Poems

“Spring work is going on with joyful enthusiasm.” ― John Muir, The Wilderness World of John Muir

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here on my blog.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

Posted on by — Leave a comment

What To Do?

This morning I got up feeling grumpy about Daylight Savings Time. I don’t like it. I think it’s dumb. Etc. And then right on the heels of those thoughts and feelings comes, I am not in Ukraine or Yemen or Syria. My country is not torn apart by war. This is how my thinking runs, lately.

I wondered and wrote in my Morning Pages about what to put in this letter. I have made lists of topics, including fun, lighthearted, or funny stories from my life; uplifting stories or ideas; meandering thoughts about all sorts of things, e.g. my interests, loves and passions, phrases from meditation or elsewhere that inspire me; as well as possibly humorous complaints and rants about things like Daylight Savings Time.

But I have a dilemma about writing about any of those things at the moment.

Maybe everyone desperately needs lightness from somewhere, a cheerful letter, a post that is upbeat and forward-looking, in the midst of the terrible news of the world. Or is that disrespectful? On “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” last Saturday one of the cast members was joking about how handsome and cool Volodymyr Zelenskyy is, talking to the press in a t-shirt. The audience was laughing and Peter Sagal said maybe she needed to go take a cold shower. Really? Is this funny? Or appropriate? Do people really need to laugh that badly?

But then, what should we do? We do need to laugh, feel joy, get inspired, take care of ourselves and each other. We do need, like good paintings, lightness to contrast with the dark. Mightn’t it be a worthwhile endeavor for me to add to the ever-diminishing pile of laughter, light, and joy? What else can I really do, other than put a frame around my profile photo on Facebook, sign petitions, send money to help the refugees?

Are you, my reader, disappointed that I did not offer you something today to lift you up? Then I’m sorry. Maybe I should have. I do try to add to the goodness in the world, not take away from it. But I thought it worthwhile today to offer up my dilemma. I hope it’s worth something to you, as well.

I will go back next week to lighter fare, I promise. Spring is coming for us. We are lucky as hell.

“Perseverance is everything. We all stumbled when we took our first steps yet we were running sooner than we realized, and then we couldn’t stay still. Why stay still now?” – Rob Liano

“It’s morning, and again I am that lucky person who is in it.” – Mary Oliver

“We are all leaves of one tree. We are all waves of one sea.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems right here in my blog.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Found a Dollar!

I found a dollar this morning in the parking lot at Grindstone, where I take Miles on rambling woodland walks. A dollar! Made me smile. I put it right into my pocket. Who would really miss a dollar? Who would drive back there to search for it? It’s a nice little gift and has no guilt or anxiety attached to it.

By contrast, I once found a hundred dollar bill on the sidewalk. That bit of excitement opened up a whole world of Right and Wrong, anxiety, decision-making, conjecture, dilemma and feelings for my fellow humans.

It was on a busy street very near my house. A small pile of books had been in that spot for a few days, and the previous night we had had a thunderstorm. Now the top book’s cover was curled back and right there sat a hundred dollar bill. Well. What to do? The books were clearly abandoned there. No one was coming back for them. That seemed clear. I hesitated, looking around, went to the door of the house, but did not want to knock, early on a Sunday morning. I went back, thinking I could sure use that hundred dollars. I took it and walked on. Then I wondered if I should give it to the Food Bank instead of keeping it.

But then it occurred to me that the hundred dollar bill and the books could be unrelated. It could just have landed there, when someone pulled their hand out of their pocket. They might retrace their steps to find it. So I put it back and walked on. From across the street I watched another woman pause there, looking down, and finally walk away.

In the end, the owner of that house was able to track down the owner of the books and return them along with the hundred dollar bill. That is a whole other story of oddness.

But THEN a friend who’d read about my find on Facebook drove up to my house with a card and a little book about friendship with a hundred dollar bill tucked inside! Oh my! That was truly amazing, loving, and beautiful. She said it was her form of tithing to find a cause or person that could use a little money.

So today I found a dollar bill. No dilemma included. Ahh. Just a fun little thing to write in my book of walks and enjoy. When I got home and felt it in my pocket, I had another happy little feeling. I got a tiny present this morning. No worries attached. What will I do with it? A dollar won’t buy much these days, but who cares? I think I’ll pass it on when I go downtown today.

What would you do if you found a hundred dollar bill?

“Live your life, sing your song. Not full of expectations. Not for the ovations. But for the joy of it.” ― Rasheed Ogunlaru

“It’s good to be a SEEKER, but sooner or later you have to be a FINDER. And then it is well to give what you have found, a gift into the world for whoever will accept it.” ― Richard D. Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems right here on my blog.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Walking As Reset

We sure have a lot to worry and fret about these days–our own health and whatever problems we might be having, challenges our friends and family members are facing (so numerous these days), and lately, the very serious, heavy and daunting news of the world. Although I am not at all a news hound, I can get overwhelmed by the little I read and hear in the news. This past week, whenever I’ve felt grumpy about the weather, my petty grievances, or my various silly irritations, I’ve been saying to myself, “You’re not in Ukraine.” It does help to put things in perspective, though it doesn’t solve anything. I know that right now, I am exceptionally lucky. Even though I have worries and fears, they are not for myself. I am lucky.

For me, walking outdoors is usually the antidote to any negative thoughts, worries, or fears I’m harboring. This is what helps me most to shake off a bad mood, even in the cold, and especially with a friend and/or a dog–but even on my own. I often walk alone or just with my sweet dog Miles. But I do, too, love to walk with friends. I remember a particular recent time when I had been indoors most of the day, getting more and more frustrated with my computer and technology in general, and I suddenly texted my neighbor for a walk. And she said yes! I rushed out into the street and waited for her. As I breathed in that cold, clear air I grew calmer and calmer. As if I was meditating. Just breathing. In with the good, out with the bad. Ahh.

And then off we went. Fast. We walk at a similar fast, energetic pace. Not jogging or even speed walking, but fast enough to feel it. Not too fast that we can’t talk, vent, and sometimes rant. That day I ranted and pretty soon we were both laughing. And then the sun was setting behind all the bare neighborhood trees and it was just beautiful.

When I got home I felt totally reset. My brain, my soul, my body, my day had all been reset. The button had been pressed. Such a blessed relief. Walking is the best. It doesn’t even have to be in nature or in any particular kind of spot. My son loves to walk all over New York City and when I go there, we walk and walk and walk. I suspect he gets the same beautiful benefits there. In with the good, out with the bad. Walking as meditation.

“Exploring the world is one of the best ways of exploring the mind, and walking travels both terrains.” ― Rebecca Solnit, Wanderlust: A History of Walking

“But the beauty is in the walking — we are betrayed by destinations.” ― Gwyn Thomas

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”― Ellen DeGeneres

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems right here on my blog.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”