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Taxes

Doesn’t it seem rather uncivilized and frankly ugly that income tax reporting happens on April 15th? Or in April at all? In the middle of spring?? It does to me.

Who wants to think about money and expenses and unreported tips and foreign income and grantors and transferors when one should be traipsing through the wildflowers? Not me. Okay, taxes are one of those “get to” things I wrote about earlier, because if I didn’t have enough income to even report, I’d be pretty darn poor. However, why couldn’t this heinous task be set for, say, November 15th, after which we’d celebrate Thanksgiving, being thankful for all we have, including income?

My sister, a CPA, has been my tax accountant for many years. She did this for me out of love, in exchange for a few greeting cards and perhaps a box of chocolate covered pretzels (which I often forgot). Now, however, she’s retired. A local friend agreed to take me on as a client. I asked him for a deadline for all my info and materials and he suggested March 15th. Okay. But then he stretched that to the last week of March. Uh-oh. Never remove a deadline from a deadline-dependent artist type who hates numbers and figures. Now I’ve hardly begun. The pile of papers on the dining room table grows more menacing by the day.

I like to think that Mary Oliver and I would have been right in step with each other, with regard to taxes. She wrote a poem titled “Percy Speaks While I Am Doing the Taxes.” I’ve copied it for you, below. Surely she, like I, would like to have simply tossed all her receipts into a box and handed that over to the hapless accountant. “Do your worst, fine fellow! I can’t be bothered. I have spring to attend to.” Surely she, like I, would so much rather have been out in the woods somewhere with a small dog, sending love and kisses to the baby wildflowers, tiny shoots of green, and blue blue sky. As my sister, too, would rather have done for all those years. Now she is released from my 1040, Schedule C, Business Use of Home, 1099, etc., etc. Whereas I will ever and always, in Just-spring, have a pile of papers on the dining room table, mocking me.

I add now, to my list of desired household employees, in addition to the“dreamy-eyed gardener,” a bright-eyed, cheerful bookkeeper.

Percy Speaks While I Am Doing the Taxes – Mary Oliver

First of all, I do not want to be doing this.
Second of all, Percy does not want me
to be doing this.
bent over the desk like a besieged person
with a dull pencil and innumerable lists
of numbers.

Outside the water is blue, the sky is clear,
the tide rising.
Percy, I say, this has to be done. This is
essential. I’ll be finished eventually.

“Keep me in your thoughts,” he replies. “Just because
I can’t count to ten doesn’t mean
I don’t remember yesterday, or anticipate today.
I’ll give you ten more minutes,” and he does.
Then shouts—who could resist—his
favorite words: Let’s go!

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Early Spring

Spring Beauty, so very early!

Oddly, I find the early spring we are experiencing not only unsettling but a little sad. Of course I adore spring! And winter is my least favorite time of year. But I do live in a land of four seasons and this year we barely had a winter at all.

There are things both natural and unnatural about this early spring that bother me. On the unnatural side, there is, of course, global warming. We are wrecking the natural order of things and that is very sad. All kinds of terrible things are happening across the globe because of what we humans have done and are still doing to this planet that is our home.

Toothwort, too, so early!

On the natural side, there’s time slipping away. Being a woman of a certain age, I am acutely aware of the passage of time. I look out my windows now, in early March, and see lots of green already. Oddly chagrined rather than joyous yesterday, I felt ashamed to actually feel a little sad about it. This is not just a sweet little blip in the middle of winter. I’ve always loved those. No, it’s done, it’s over; and we haven’t put in our dues with ice and snow and freezing toes and fingers yet. Two weeks only of it, I’d say. We’ve paid almost nothing for the rewards of spring.

Wildflowers, bulbs and flowering trees are already doing what they do so well.

Shouldn’t I be reveling in it? Crusty Old Winter’s zoomed away in a rush without even a sly goodbye. Yet this year I’m not yelling, Good riddance!

No. For I have passed another winter on Earth. How many more will I have? So I feel a bit unsettled and not quite as celebratory as usual.

But signs of spring are signs of spring, and color and blue skies and the cheerful little flowers are always lovely and welcome. I just hope they don’t disappear in a rush because summer’s landed too soon! I like FOUR seasons. Four. This is where I live, in Four Seasons Land, which is located on Earth, which we need to somehow protect. Sigh. So many things to fix.

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.” ― Anne Bradstreet

“That is one good thing about this world . . . there are always sure to be more springs.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

” . . . always
it’s
Spring)and everyone’s
in love and flowers pick themselves”
― e.e. cummings, Collected Poems

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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The Reluctant Gardener

My one small flower bed

My garden is my sanctuary. Gardening is my meditation, my Zen, my way of relaxing. Ah, no. That is not me talking. No. Those are the unfathomable claims of any number of crazies I know.

Don’t get me wrong. I love flowers and beautiful gardens. I can just imagine how my yard could be lovingly converted (by someone else) into a wonderland of flowers. I daydream, at times, about gardening projects, bowers of wisteria, pathways winding in and out of lovely flower beds. A cutting garden! A patio with a table for tea and cakes set into the middle of the floral haven.

I have cleared this all out any number of times . . .

But it would never be me who does it. Gardening, for me, is backbreaking, miserable, painful work. Yesterday I finally weeded the bigger part of my very small front bed and managed to get all of the plants I’d bought into the ground. It was the last active thing I did all day long. I hurt too much to go on a walk or a bike ride on the gorgeous day, ached far too badly to paint, or even sit at the computer tending to poems. I was confined to the couch with ice packs, Advil, my Magic Maker and yes, all right, a wee dram o’ whiskey. And I still went to bed hurting.

People say they enjoy pulling weeds. Am I the only person who has crabgrass creeping through the entire yard, culminating in some hellish spot between two large rocks? Am I the only one who wrenches her back trying to wrench the damn things out, cursing wildly as I fling them onto the weed pile? Don’t other people pull muscles while pulling weeds? And what about the wild onions that seem to love my flower bed? A friend remarked that I should let the nutrients in the soil soak into my body. What about the weeds snaking their way into my psyche?

The Queen of Hearts is not amused at the state of things in her garden.

No, gardening is not a respite for me. It is difficult, unpleasant, and painful. And later in the summer, when it’s boiling hot and horribly humid, I can barely be bothered even to water the plants.

Oh, I could be very Zen sitting in a shady nook of my beautiful garden! Not, however, slaving away in it. I suppose what I really want is a dreamy-eyed gardener, someone who would make my yard lush, colorful and verdant. I am not a gardener but I do want a garden. Is there anyone out there who would barter gardening skills (hard labor) for art or greeting cards? Anyone? Anyone at all. My garden could be your sanctuary. Think about it, weirdos. You could let the nutrients in my soil soak into your body. I shall keep the phone lines open.

“Mrs Loudon was even more successful than her husband thanks to a single work, Practical Instructions in Gardening for Ladies, published in 1841, which proved to be magnificently timely. It was the first book of any type ever to encourage women of elevated classes to get their hands dirty and even to take on a faint glow of perspiration. This was novel almost to the point of eroticism. Gardening for Ladies bravely insisted that women could manage gardening independent of male supervision if they simply observed a few sensible precautions – working steadily but not too vigorously, using only light tools, never standing on damp ground because of the unhealthful emanations that would rise up through their skirts.” ― Bill Bryson, At Home: A Short History of Private Life

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Dancing Daffodils

Our daffodils have taken a real beating this spring.

We had some unseasonably warm weather this winter and in their optimistic way daffodils began popping up as early as late February. Some of mine bloomed shortly thereafter. Inevitably, temperatures dropped into the twenties a few nights in a row and at two or three different times. The poor things, shivering in the cold, covered with frost! Then there was the wild wind. And rain. Try as they might to stay upright, their heads bowed to the ground. The pretty faces they’d turned to the sky leaned down to contemplate the earth.

One of my cards, now retired, from many years ago

Stalwart daffodils offer many lessons. One could think: a) don’t be reckless; b) be patient and wait for spring; and c) everything is not a competition. But I prefer to take these lessons: a) persevere despite hardship; b) remain optimistic regardless of your circumstances; and c) never let your resilience flag. They do almost always pop back up, just as we can and (usually) do. Sure, some of them look pretty bedraggled and might be passed over for a spot in the living room vase. But doesn’t that just give them more time to turn their faces back up to the sun, more days to breathe in the cool spring air? Would you rather be bobbing in the spring breeze (okay, wind) or standing perfectly still in somebody’s house?

I began this in a bit of a low mood today. The moneylenders have gotten me down. But I have decided to take my inspiration from all the bouncy, vivacious daffodils. And what about the wildflowers?? It’s prime time for going on a wildflower hunt. And it’s completely free! You don’t need a thin dime to do it. You don’t even have to drive anywhere to find them. If you can’t get into the woods, you’ll still find wildflowers popping up in the yards and along sidewalks.So. Take a page from the Book of Daffodils. Bounce along. Turn your gaze to the earth and search for wildflowers. Seek out beauty. Pop back up if you’ve been knocked down. Nurture your resilience. And take a lesson from William Wordsworth (below). Life is good.

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed–and gazed–but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
― William Wordsworth, I Wander’d Lonely as a Cloud
If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”
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Big Adventures

Whew! Miles and I had two completely different adventures this morning in the woods. I had worn my new boots, since my old, worn out pair are no longer waterproof and I was intending to cross the creek. I love the back part of the park (“The Back Forty”) very much but because of all the rain I hadn’t been able to get over there yet. There is a slope back there that I call Bluebell Hill and I was thinking it’s probably about time for the bluebells to be popping up.

When I got to the creek, Miles was gone, off again on another of his secret adventures. But this time I felt sure I knew where he’d gone–to find and gnaw on a deer leg he’d found back the other direction. And I thought I could go and see the flowers and then find him over there. I thought we could both do what we wanted this time and then I’d find him.

In my adventure I was richly rewarded. Wow. Bluebells were out in full force, pushing through the fallen leaves, along with Dutchmen’s breeches, trillium and false rue anemone–a magic carpet of wildflowers. Walking through there, even quickly since I was thinking about Miles, my heart ached with how pretty it is. I took many pictures, none of which match the wonder and magic of the place, the flowers, the perch above the creek that I so love, the meandering path. No. Not even close. You can’t hear the birds when you look at the pictures, for example. You can’t tell that everywhere you look there’s something tiny and beautiful to see. You don’t feel the cool morning air on your face or smell the fragrance of damp earth and rich, ripe spring.

Waldeinsamkeit is a German word that refers to the feeling one has while being alone in the woods, usually a sublime or spiritual one.” Dictionary.com

Sublime, indeed.

Meanwhile, Miles was having a different sort of adventure. I headed towards where I imagined he had gone but did not find him there and pretty soon my phone rang. He had found a woman, showed her his tag, and asked her to call me. (I’m sure this is how it went, as he is very smart and he knows all about cell phones.) She was at the complete other end of the park and she’d put him on a leash (not at all a part of his plan). I asked her to hold him until I was across the creek, where I could call to him and he’d hear me, so that’s how it went. He loves to go off on his own but he really really wants to come back and tell me all about it. Pretty soon he came racing up. All out of breath, worn out, wet, desperate to find me, legs trembling, the look of worry in his eyes. Bad mother. And the smell of death on his breath. Bad dog.

I gave him about two million treats and tried to get him to lie down and rest for awhile, but that only lasted about one minute. And we headed back, each of us rewarded once again by nature’s bounty.

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” – Thornton Wilder

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to invite them to sign up for them. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Astonishing! Spring

Spring is upon us and I think just about everyone has a feeling of buoyancy once Vernal Equinox arrives. Even though here in mid-Missouri only a very few trees have buds on them, we all feel that little buzz of excitement, knowing that things are happening. Within those branches and down in the damp earth many tiny bits of thing are very busy doing whatever it is they need to do in order to pop out, to spring! Those mechanisms, those mysteries of growth and emergence–bud, leaf, blossom–are known only to the few who study such things, and I am not one of those, not much of a studier. I am just happy to look and love and maybe imagine the tiny goings-on.

“Let me keep my distance, always, from those

who think they have the answers.

Let me keep company always with those who say

“Look!” and laugh in astonishment,

and bow their heads.”

― Mary Oliver, Evidence: Poems

Now the grand adventure has begun. Oh, the looking, the searching, the joy of discovery on our little expeditions into yard, garden or woods! We look for the first this, the first that of the season and the first ever this or that. I remember so well when I saw my first Shooting Star–not a thing in the sky but a wildflower–on a trail called Shooting Star. I was with my sister, who was visiting here in search of birds and anything lovely. I’d always thought that trail was so named for sightings of the celestial type of shooting star from the bluffs there. No. The bluff was full of wildflowers. Shooting Star is one of those wildflowers I’d seen in my book and always wished I’d find in the wild. In person, as it were. And then, that April, my sister and I saw it together.

Just before official Spring, I’m casting my eyes to the ground on familiar woodland paths in search of the wildflowers whose whereabouts I have come to know. The east side of a certain hill is the first place I look with camera and mental notebook. And I am not disappointed. Shyly, they begin to show themselves. Tiny, delicate False Rue Anemone leaves, barely out of the ground, are my first reward. Toothwort leaves, too, and pretty soon a tiny row of buds hanging on their stems like socks on a laundry line. They will open by afternoon, I think. But I am a morning treasure hunter, so I will wait for the next day. I get a little burst of excitement with my first Trillium, first Blue-Eyed Mary, first May Apple, one after the other and another. I write these things down in notebooks. Yes, I count myself lucky.

Here’s a lovely Wendell Berry poem that I like to read every spring. I love every bit of it (though my feelings about outhouses are mixed) but I love especially his list of sins, for they are similar to my own.

A Purification

“At start of spring I open a trench
In the ground. I put into it
The winter’s accumulation of paper,
Pages I do not want to read
Again, useless words, fragments,
errors. And I put into it
the contents of the outhouse:
light of the suns, growth of the ground,
Finished with one of their journeys.
To the sky, to the wind, then,
and to the faithful trees, I confess
my sins: that I have not been happy
enough, considering my good luck;
have listened to too much noise,
have been inattentive to wonders,
have lusted after praise.
And then upon the gathered refuse,
of mind and body, I close the trench
folding shut again the dark,
the deathless earth. Beneath that seal
the old escapes into the new.”

― Wendell Berry

The old escapes into the new. What a lovely phrase. I hope this spring finds you hopeful and as he says, “happy enough.”

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Blooming

Rain.  So now all the wildflowers that haven’t had the heart

to bloom are popping out, the many sizes and shapes of

yellow that look like daisies but of course are not,

bright cheerful big and little faces dotting the trailsides and meadows.

I would like the rain to work such a magic on me myself

and all of us, bringing out the airy, blithe, beaming blooms

lying dormant within us but I for one am far too

complicated for such a quick fix (or so I tell myself).

In my next life I’ll be a simple, small flower, happy to

bounce into bloom with the slightest provocation.

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Taxes

Sun shoots of a sudden

right into my eye

reminding me of all

that lies beyond the window

out there where birds fly and I

must attend to the very

important matters of

stone leaf creek and flower

leaving behind the trivial

business of money and taxes

for at least one fat hour.

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Karen

All is so very right with the world as

my Peter’s love is lovely loves him

loves my dogs spreads her kind attention

nicely out around and about to All

a bright presence an iris I think in the world

of flowers tall elegant hardy classic and

as to birds let me see no cardinal

not the female anyway she does not hang

back but oh yes a chickadee most definitely

a chickadee out and about and unafraid.

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Thunder in January

Thunderstorm in January not

the thing one expects not here

at least not in the Heartland &

I being of romantic nature like

to imagine it portends a Thing

that is equally unexpected possibly

poetic in the offing perhaps

a Thing of Rare Beauty about

to transpire a Something Unfolding

to uplift the hearts of the many

who are troubled a thing like

an orchid blooming on the scale

of maybe a tsumani yes a tropical

storm sized blooming of the earth.