Tag: friends

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Mountains! Mountains!

I just returned from a week at Rocky Mountain National Park with eight women friends. Again, I feel transformed.

I have always said I’m an ocean person. Well, I am. I love the ocean. Most of these gals would love to live in the mountains. That has never been me. Driving across Colorado to see family in California, I’ve of course admired the beauty of the Rockies. I’ve oohed and ahhed at the magnificence each time I drove through, and I certainly felt lucky to be where I was. But my spirit has never been particularly drawn to the mountains.

Well, I suppose things can change, even within a 72-year-old heart. I suppose one can have more than one love, more than one heart’s destination.

Now I so wish I’d spent more time at RMNP all these years that I’ve lived in Missouri. I am only a long day’s drive from there. I wish I’d taken my sons there when they were young, maybe even every summer. Why not? We could so easily have done that. We went to the Grand Canyon, Zion, Yosemite, Bandolier, all camping or backpacking trips–but never to RMNP, which is so much closer. Why? I can’t know. I cannot fathom a reason–but that is one of those things you just have to let go.

Everyone knows the Rockies are absolutely breathtaking! I’ve always loved the constant motion of the ocean, but in the mountains you have the constantly moving clouds, settling comfortably in a valley, sitting high enough above to cast their unique shadows across the earth, or completely obscuring the whole mountain range in a second or two–and then sailing away, rising, or disappearing. Poof! There’s that view again. I could sit and watch that dance, one that is not unlike that of the sea and the shore, for hours.

Look where I was!

I was able to hike, and even to hike for six hours one day, despite my worries about the altitude and breathing. We were able to hike up, on foot, to the beautiful mountain lakes and to marvel at the amazing vistas spread before us. I am so grateful for that, for my friends, for my body, for the mountains which do so change one’s perspective. And I myself am changed. I am so very grateful for all of this! And I will go back. I hope to go back again and again.

So we walked and hiked a lot in the thin air, and we breathed, and we paused often, and there were magnificent views as well as pretty little wildflowers. And there was picture taking and eating and stargazing and searching for bull moose and bear and bighorn sheep, and listening for the bull elks’ mating call.

So I’ve come away from a trip yet again with many thoughts, reflections, and realizations. Though it breaks my heart a little every time I say goodbye to my dogs, travel is good for the heart, mind, and soul. And I am immensely grateful for all that I have.

“Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home.”― John Muir

“I like the mountains because they make me feel small,’ Jeff says. ‘They help me sort out what’s important in life.” ― Mark Obmascik, Halfway to Heaven

“She was nothing before that view, these mountains. As insignificant to any of it as one of the stones that still rattled in her boot. It was a blessed relief, to be nothing and no one.” ― Sarah J. Maas, A ​Court of Silver Flames

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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I and Love and You

I went this past weekend down to the Ozarks Amphitheater with friends to see the Avett Brothers perform. As usual, I had mixed feelings about leaving home, even for just one night. I don’t like to leave Miles, who is more clingy than he ever used to be. It looked like it would be hot (91 degrees). And me with another unending headache. In that heat. Those three points. But I love spending time with this group of women.

Ha Ha Tonka State Park

And what a beautiful experience it was. Just in time, clouds sailed in and the temperature dropped unexpectedly. To everyone’s wonderment, a luscious breeze suddenly filled the whole area. It was perfect. And then the music, filled with love. That word, “love,” sung again and again across a sea of people in the cool breezy evening, could not fail to fill the heart of any person in any state of headache or whatever myriad troubles which of course are present. The first song brought tears to my eyes, thinking of my sons, followed by so many happy, toe-tapping songs that make you want to stand up and jiggle around, even if you’re tired or have a headache, so much joy and love and regard spilling out all over the place. Filled us all up. And looking side to side at my joyful companions, as always, that filled me up more. I am reminded again and again of how lucky I am. I don’t know how or why, but I’ll take it.

View from the castle ruins at Ha Ha Tonka

So shouldn’t we all say the word “love” whenever possible? Tell it to each other, to our dogs, to ourselves? Say it, tell it, be it, revere it, spread it, revel in it, give it, shout it, write it, sing it, share it? Bake it into cakes, drink cups of it, offer platters of it, sprinkle it over our veggies? Sew it onto our clothes, wear it on top of our heads, wrap it around our shoulders, cradle the babies in it, tuck it into our shoes in the hope that it leads us down all the right paths? Yes yes yes.

“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.”― Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

“Love can rebuild the world, they say, so everything’s possible when it comes to love.” ― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

“One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Much Ado About Something

This morning, after months of painting and planning, I hung my show. Ahh.

I woke at 3:30 this morning, dozed fitfully for an hour. Finally I just gave up and got up at 4:30. So many things on my mind–family coming from West and East coasts for my big little event; others coming in for other reasons; the reception; Thanksgiving; this, that, and the other needing to be done and made ready. So very many things to think about and do. My checklists have been completed and replaced day after day.

My energetic, ever-helpful friend and I arrived at the bank, paintings in hand, to find a Christmas tree in one corner of the space. Hmm. Seemed to be a problem. But the wonderful, all-knowing Executive Director of the Columbia Art League, Kelsey, suggested a change of layout that might accommodate both the tree and the paintings. We switched out two large paintings for these two small ones, one of which could be seen as a snowy landscape and the other looking bright and festive. We hung one on either side of the tree. Voila! She was right. It’s perfect.

Bonnie, me and Kelsey

So with the help of these two great gals, my solo show has been hung and we had fun doing it. All of it, really, has been happy work–the painting itself, the planning, and all the doing, so very much doing, more doing than I had imagined. Well, most of the doing was fun. The framing fiasco? Not fun. Cards have gone out, wine has been bought, the Art League is promoting the heck out of it, and all is well. I am happy. Whatever happens from here on out, I’m happy.

I am grateful to so many people for their help! I will be especially thankful this Thanksgiving Day for all the people in my life who make my world a better place. As the effervescent Bonnie likes to say, “I’m livin’ the dream.”

“Have the wisdom to perceive all there is to be thankful for, and then be thankful for the wisdom to perceive things so clearly.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich, Slaying Dragons

“Today I focus my thoughts on the wonderful things that are. I focus my heart on the full-filling things that will be . . . and I give thanks.” ― Angie Karan

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” – Maya Angelou

If you’re looking for my paintings, go here. If you want cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Lake Life

This weekend I had the complete and utter joy of spending two nights and three days with my dear women friends at Mary Ann’s lovely lake house. It was such a total refresh and reset to be in, on, and around that beautiful lake. As I recently wrote, I had been longing for time by the water. Of course, I’m always keening toward water, it seems, like a shorebird that’s somehow landed very far inland, very confused. But a nice long water sabbatical restores me to myself. I have returned home renewed. Ahh.

On Friday there were hours spent lazing around on floaties in the water. Friday night, after eating, drinking, and playing games, found us lying on the dock, stargazing. The half moon dimmed the stars a bit, but I did see two shoot across the sky. Love. Saturday morning I sat at the end of the dock and meditated, my eyes half open to the gently rocking water. Twice we took kayaks down the cove to a beautiful channel one of the residents had created. It was totally quiet and peaceful there, a green, almost parklike surround, with trees scattered and among them a single picnic table. No houses or docks. Again, ahh.

Two of us had recently spoken about how much we love the ocean, wondering briefly why we live landlocked, as we do. But then she almost immediately said what I was thinking. It’s because of this very group of friends that we are unwilling to move away from here, even to our longed-for ocean.

We have the gift of companionable togetherness and high regard for each other. Each of us commented at one time or another during the weekend how lucky we felt to be there but also to be with each other. We all recognize the greatness of our easy companionship and we speak of it often. I think too that we enjoy the same balance of silliness and depth, while also loving many of the same things. Food and drink; games; laughter; singing; travel; adventure; the great outdoors; hiking; canoeing; books; and meaningful conversation. I’m smiling to myself for listing “food and drink” first. We are very good eaters!

Plans were discussed for a trip to Montana, specifically Glacier National Park next year. Road trip? Or train trip?!? Fly fishing . . . hiking . . . kayaking? Yes, please. Montana will be our oyster. But even if, for some unfathomable reason, that doesn’t happen, this, right here, will still be our oyster.

So today I am filled up with gratitude for my wonderful friends and for the beauty that lives right here where I’ve been planted.

“My mother always wanted to live near the water,” she said. “She said it’s the one thing that brings us all together. That I can have my toe in the ocean off the coast of Maine, and a girl my age can have her toe in the ocean off the coast of Africa, and we would be touching. On opposite sides of the world.” ― Megan Miranda, Vengeance

“Soul friendships are the safety net of the heart.” – Susan Jeffers

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”― Linda Grayson

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Bless His Heart

I had a friend, since passed away, who would nearly always follow his criticism or complaint of someone with, “Bless his heart.” It might seem disingenuous but I always liked it. I thought he was basically saying, “I don’t like what he does, but he’s a good, imperfect person.” Aren’t we all?

And those words, “Bless her heart,” are lovely, when you really think about them. So much better than “Bless you” after a sneeze. Bless your heart. Bless the most vulnerable part of you. And that, to me, is even better. He would also say it directly to me, as a form of empathy. I’d have a cold or maybe I’d be dealing with something difficult, and he would say, “Ohh, bless your heart.” It’s somehow more than empathy. He wasn’t just feeling my pain, but offering something more.

Words do have power. Those kinds of words were not a part of my childhood, though, and aren’t now, either, though I’d like to try and say them. We said, “Bless you!” if someone sneezed, but we did not ever speak in terms of blessings, prayer, or God at home. We were Catholics! We said formal prayers in church, things we memorized in Catholic school. That kind of talk did not enter into our daily life. I get a little itchy when people do speak of God or Jesus as if they’re talking about an uncle or someone who lives down the block. And I feel like they can see all the way through my silence.

Another friend, also now gone, used to ask me to pray for him in his fight with pancreatic cancer. Finally I came clean and said, “You know, I’m not much of one for prayer, but I am holding you in my thoughts.” He just smiled and said, “He knows what you’re thinking.” No judgment, just easy, gentle acceptance.

I do love the idea of a blessing as a piece of grace, a delight bestowed, a kindness, some solace offered by me or by the universe to someone who needs it. I love the word, though I am not religious. I love it for all these other meanings. I love it as a loveliness we can bestow on each other, rather than the Catholic way of receiving it from someone who is supposedly better or higher (more male) than me.

So I am blessing your heart, from this distance. I am blessing not just your heart but all the parts of you! I bless you all over! I hope you can feel that.

“You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings.”― Elizabeth Gilbert

“Money can’t buy no blessin’s.” ― Ron Hall, Same Kind of Different as Me

“In the end, life is about collecting experiences and looking for the lesson and blessing in each one. Yet we are never to carry these experiences on our backs, only in our hearts. One will hold us back, while the other will keep us moving forward.” ― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Gathering

Recently, I’ve had the great pleasure of gathering with others–both friends and strangers–for three occasions. I participated in a lovely wedding, I was celebrated (grandly) for my 70th birthday, and then I was lucky enough to attend a marvelous music festival. It all felt so remarkable! And in a couple of days I will be driving across the country to gather with my two New York sons. I’ve had my Covid-19 booster shot and somehow I suddenly feel quite confident about the future.

This is certainly a change from even a few weeks ago. My organizing partner and I had just cancelled our annual November art show (again), due to concerns about Covid. I have not even considered participating in any indoor shows or events, going to a movie or the gym or an indoor concert. I probably will not do any of those things for awhile longer. But these recent gatherings have so lifted my spirit.

I won a weekend pass to our big local music festival, Roots ‘n’ Blues in a random drawing. It’s expensive and I never feel like it’s something I can afford. Everyone was required to show proof of vaccination or a negative Covid test. The rule gave me a feeling of ahhh, I have to say. The weekend was beautiful and it was a pleasure to be there with good friends. We reveled. This was shortly after gathering at a lake house for my birthday, where we ate and drank merrily, played games, sang songs, and lolled on our private dock gazing at the stars until long after my bedtime. My family had made a touching video for my birthday, with lots of old and new photos and video contributions from faraway friends, siblings, and family. It is a thing I will treasure forever and watch again and again. They went through great machinations to get it sent along with one of my friends and it was so much better that I watched it surrounded by friends.

Gathering. Feeling comfortable. Enjoying the company of our beloveds. What a luxury! I suppose none of us ever imagined that these simple things would feel so absolutely extravagant, but they sure do.

At Roots ‘n’ Blues, every single performer expressed their gratitude and delight at being able to do the thing they love, once again. For many of them, it was their first performance, especially to an audience of our size, in a very long time. They were in their element. And we were the lucky recipients of their all-out joy.

There were just so many memorable moments during all of these gatherings, all of them the kind of soft moments that warm the heart. They weren’t skydiving or hot air balloon moments or thrills of a lifetime. They were just pockets of loveliness that make your soul thrive.

I see many more of these gatherings and moments on the horizon. I do. I feel very open and hopeful right now that we are coming to the end of all the sickness and death and entering into a light-filled era of gratitude. I know I am feeling very grateful for all I have right now. I am totting up a list and letting it build a blanket fort in my heart.

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best,” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.” ― A. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“Later on, when they had all said “Good-bye” and “Thank-you” to Christopher Robin, Pooh and Piglet walked home thoughtfully together in the golden evening, and for a long time they were silent.

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”

“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”

“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting to-day?” said Piglet.

Pooh nodded thoughtfully. “It’s the same thing,” he said.”

― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”