new york – Kay Foley

Posted on August 4, 2024 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

Law of Attraction

We often hear this idea that we can manifest abundance or draw to ourselves all the things we desire, i.e. the Law of Attraction. But is this really how the universe works? I wonder.

I just heard it presented again in an artists’ group. It’s so simple, so easy, she says. You only have to understand what it is you truly desire, let go of your limiting beliefs and allow the things you desire to enter your life. Amazing things will come to you–that big new studio, money, clients, business, whatever you want. Such a heady idea. I felt myself rising to it, as I always do.

Many years ago I read Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. She is a big advocate of this idea. There are lots of wonderful exercises in the book designed to help you realize what you truly desire and then bring those things into your life. “Leap, and the net will appear.” I was all in. Many pretty pictures appeared in my mind and I tried to manifest these things in my life.

I then started traveling to art shows. I headed off to each show with the mantra, “Anything is possible. Anything can happen!” My “anythings” included being discovered by an agent or a publisher. An apartment overlooking Central Park. A soulmate. Travel. Book deals. I had vivid imaginings of these things happening, these things that I could draw to myself, if only I would leap.

I leapt and I’ve had a nice life, one I’ve enjoyed very much, and I am very grateful to Julia Cameron for her book. I’ve felt lucky, but I couldn’t say that the life I imagined for myself then is the one I’ve lived. No publisher, no apartment, no soulmate, no pot of money. But would I be happier had I found those things? Maybe, maybe not.

I think the Law of Attraction is a beautiful idea for some things. Drawing goodness, light, inspiration, and grace into your life. Keeping a mindset that is positive and well wishing. Growing resilience. Starting each day with an attitude of abundance, in terms of joy, people, ordinary experiences. Not Things. Framing any bad experiences in a way that is helpful rather than debilitating. Pulling like-minded, positive people toward you.

I think it’s a mistake to sell it as a way to get Things, e.g. a big lovely house, a publishing deal, a pot of money, a fancy job or car. And I get a little squeamish at the hidden suggestion that those lovely, good, positive people who’ve had lots of health and other problems have somehow drawn their troubles to themselves, by virtue of their limiting beliefs.

My attraction to the Law of Attraction now comes with conditions. I might try to manifest a wonderful painting, an excellent shot at pickleball, a really great MerryThoughts letter. But the pot of gold and the big bright studio? I don’t think so.

“When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you, you become a sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you.” ― Shannon L. Alder

“A change of feeling is a change of destiny.” ― Neville Goddard

“We are magnets . . .We have keys to all doors. We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities…” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

Posted on November 10, 2022 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

Eyes Mind Heart

We hear all the time about the mind/body connection. What about the New York eye/brain/heart connection?

I recently returned from another fabulous trip to see my sons who live in New York. The City is jam-packed with everything. Everything. Okay, there are no mountains, so everything but mountains. Whenever I go, I’m met with a muchness that invigorates first my eyes, then my brain, and then my heart. Looking at something like that amazing Barbara Kruger installation (above), I feel my eyes widen and my brain open right up. And after that, my heart. Love. There is so very much to love.

Honestly, you don’t need to step into a museum to get the eye/brain/heart love. It’s in the street art, the hilarious or heartbreaking signs and graffiti, the juxtaposition of trees with skyscrapers, the many beautiful parks, the skyline at night, old and new buildings standing right next to each other, the beautiful bridges, loads of short-legged dogs, wild Halloween decorations on the beautiful brownstones, the surprise of sculpture in subway stations, even the digital (no longer neon) craziness of Times Square, and of course the fashions! All of it, so inspiring! So energizing! Nourishment for the eye. Eye to brain to heart.

I never fail to come home full of possibility and light, eyes stuffed with color and wonder, a serotonin-filled brain imagining all kinds of projects and pursuits, a heart full of love for my own sons and, too, for all of those enterprising, creative individuals who make New York the remarkable place it is.

Begging the question: What will I do with all of this energy coursing through my creative brain, more than a week later? We shall see.

Sure, the City would feel quite different were my sons not there with me, and I’m sure NYC has its share of lonely people, not to mention desperate and homeless. But for me, lucky as I am and for a week or so, it is a fat purse that never empties.

“I look out the window and I see the lights and the skyline and the people on the street rushing around looking for action, love, and the world’s greatest chocolate chip cookie, and my heart does a little dance.” – Nora Ephron

“New York is not a city. It’s a world.” – Iman

“When it’s 100 degrees in New York, it’s 72 in Los Angeles. When it’s 30 degrees in New York, in Los Angeles it’s still 72. However, there are 6 million interesting people in New York, and only 72 in Los Angeles.” – Neil Simon

Thanks for listening,
Kay

Posted on September 5, 2022September 4, 2022 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

Magic Hour

The first time I heard the term “Magic Hour” I was with my son at Central Park in New York City. It was twilight. People were out walking with kids or dogs or partners; playing catch; throwing frisbees. The light was particularly beautiful as it slanted through the trees and my son commented, “Magic Hour.”

Now I’ve looked it up I see that it’s also called the Golden Hour, particularly by photographers and cinematographers. I like magic better. It’s the kind of light that seems possible only through magic. Of course, Wikipedia explains it scientifically and that is well and good. Science is good. But my eyes glaze over as I try to make heads or tails of the explanation. Why try? I ask myself. I mean, you should certainly feel free to try. But I’ve tried (a little) and I am okay with limited knowledge, especially when it comes to natural phenomena. Plus, my brain is getting old and I’m not sure what else will fit in there.

I feel the same about the moon, dew, frost, shooting stars, rainbows, murmurations and migrations of birds, and many other amazing things. I could read the science about all of these–and I have, fruitlessly, about some–but the thing is, I feel that my particular brain is not wired for that kind of understanding; and anyway, I find it far more fun to think of the more beautiful aspects of our world as mysteries I will never fathom. Correction–mysteries I do not need to fathom.

Let me just love them. Let me just feel things. Awe, wonder, luck, gratitude.

I do understand that Magic Hour is just about a half hour of actual time, the half hour after sunrise and the half hour before sunset. It is definitely a gorgeous time to be outdoors, looking, seeing, and/or as I did recently, taking a bazillion photographs. It will make you feel very lucky to be alive and on Earth.

“It was the Magic Hour, the moment in time when every leaf and blade of grass seemed to separate, when sunlight, burnished by the rain and softened by the coming night, gave the world an impossibly beautiful glow.” ― Kristin Hannah, Magic Hour

“They always stayed at the beach to enjoy the golden hour, that hour when the sun sank low enough to spangle the water.” — Elin Hilderbrand

“The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery.” ― Anais Nin

Thanks for listening,
Kay

Posted on November 1, 2021November 1, 2021 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

Nudges

Brandywine Falls at Cuyahoga Valley National Park

I recently went on a big trip. I’d been longing to see my son, Peter, whom I had not seen for over two years. He and his brother live in New York. Cole was home for two nice long stretches of time in the past year but Peter, no. I talked about it with various people and almost every one of them encouraged me to go. Do it. Go. I made half-hearted plans to fly out, and even booked a flight. But I still felt reluctant. You hear all kinds of stories about air travel these days. And I hate to leave Miles, who is so much my dog that he gets a stomach ache whenever I am away overnight. So I cancelled my flight.

Peter and his girlfriend bought a house a little ways upstate near the Hudson River last April, and I really wanted to see it. They have woods and their land borders the Appalachian Trail. They have lots of room. He suggested that my youngest son and I put the dogs in the car and drive out. Hmm. Miles hates riding in the car. Rufus has all those health issues. Peter and Anne have cats and my dogs treat cats as squirrels–something to chase. It seemed too difficult.

My two sons, on a bluff behind FDR’s home overlooking the Hudson River and railroad tracks

Then, serendipitously and independently, a friend and I both heard about Cuyahoga Valley National Park, situated in Ohio, roughly between Cleveland and Akron. We both love the idea of visiting all of the National Parks. And I had learned that an old friend of mine lives inside the park! Jan asked if I would be interested in taking a 4-day weekend to go there. But I had noticed that this park is situated a little more than halfway between here and New York. Hmm. I mentioned this. Jan thought we could drive to Ohio, explore the park, and she could fly back to St. Louis from Cleveland. I figured I could drive the rest of the way to New York.

That was the first nudge that really took. How could I say no to that? It seemed like a very good plan. And then Peter offered to drive back to St. Louis with me! The final nudge that was just too good to pass up. This trip was meant to be. And so it became a real thing.

I steeled myself against anxiety about leaving my dogs.

Jan and I made plans for our drive and the park. I got in touch with my old friend. And off we went. I bought tickets for Peter and I to go to the Frank Lloyd Wright house, Fallingwater, in Pennsylvania, on our drive back to Missouri. Peter took the whole week off work and Cole, miraculously, was able to work from home for a good part of my visit. Everything fell right into place.

It was a marvelous trip, filled with fun, laughter, oh so much natural beauty, hiking, walking, art, and best of all, freewheeling, easy time with my boys. It absolutely filled up my heart. This was a trip that went beyond any expectations that I had. I could not have conjured a more wondrous time.

So, these nudges. I think it’s important to pay attention to them but also to pick and choose. All those other ones, from well-meaning friends and family just did not feel quite right to me. I went with my gut by saying no to those others but YES! when it finally did feel just right. And the result tells the story. I am practically full up to bursting with love and lightness.

So I’m saying, especially these days (we all keep saying phrases like this), don’t let anyone else’s grit and spunk push you to do something you’re not ready for. We’re all wild and adventurous in our own (sometimes quiet) ways. Sure, look at the options for whatever it is you long to do–but let yourself see how each one of those options feels inside of you. And then maybe act on those little nudges that feel just right, the ones that truly do speak to your heart.

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” – Nelson Mandela

“Who can really say how decisions are made, how emotions change, how ideas arise? We talk about inspiration; about a bolt of lightning from a clear sky, but perhaps everything is just as simple and just as infinitely complex as the processes that make a particular leaf fall at a particular moment. That point has been reached, that’s all. It has to happen, and it does happen.” – John Ajvide Lindqvist, Harbor

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”