Author: Kay Foley

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Rocky Heart

This is the mystery rock that showed up on my porch.

I have been collecting heart-shaped rocks for years and years. I really do have too many. Good sense has finally taken hold (oh God, no!) and these days I rarely pick one up. I’m more apt to take a photo of a good one and leave it where it is. I’m old and established, with a very fine collection. Let some young person starting out have them.

Because what a nice hobby! Heart-shaped rocks are free! And in order to find them, one usually has to go on a walk. There’s a bonus right there. And more often than not, one has to go to a creek bed or a river or the ocean, a woodsy path or perhaps a rocky cliff–all those wonderful places that are good for the soul.

Heart-shaped rocks occupy my front porch and steps, living room bookshelves, mantel, and various other spots in my house. I’ve been given them by others, including a nice big one from a mystery giver (above). I’ve used them in various ways in my art, given them as gifts in pretty little bags with pretty little quotes, glued them to other rocks for catching dust in your home, and (of course) written a card about them. I have a vague plan for a small book full of “found heart” photos, with maybe a smattering of writing, but am too busy relocating the rocks I have (see below) at the moment for all that.

In my recent Studio Clean-Up, you may recall, I found that I had far too many of them piled on top of and under the table, far, far too many, and I placed a small box of the best ones on the curb. Others, I shook my head over. Why had I picked up that one or, unfathomably, that one?? Finally today I’ve released all of those back into the wild. My friend questioned how they will get along, released after all this time in captivity, not to mention relocated to a place other than where I found them. A very good point, but I can’t be bothered with that. The bulk of them are enjoying life right now in a new creek while others (see below) are lined up on a bridge railing on the MKT, awaiting travel to their new homes in someone’s pocket, to ultimately live on someone else’s shelf. And hey, those ones are pretty good hearts, don’t you feel? Passersby will love them.

You, too, could start or add to your collection by visiting that bridge on the MKT, or by wandering one of the many creekbeds or gravel roads or paths where you live. There are also plain rocks with heart-shaped holes in them, to be found. Better go look, before the young collectors get them all. Your pockets are empty. Go.

“With your heart-shaped rocks and your rocky heart . . . oh you.” – Greg Brown

“Adieu to disappointment and spleen. What are men to rocks and mountains?” ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“Everything dreams. The play of form, of being, is the dreaming of substance. Rocks have their dreams, and the earth changes….”― Ursula K. Le Guin

“Rocks and minerals: the oldest storytellers.” ― A.D. Posey

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Heat

I had considered writing about other things today, but there has just been no escaping the heat lately, and so here you are. Heat. It has been brutally hot here where I live almost every day in July and many days in June. The grass is drying up. Even the onions and things I never wanted in my flower bed are burning to a crisp. Hallelujah! Go, onions! Begone, ugly weeds! I suppose if you wait long enough the thing that’s bothering will eventually change or go away.

And I suppose we’d have to say that is true of excessive heat, too. Tomorrow we expect a high of 78. Woohoo!!

Still, I have been longing to be elsewhere. The Great Lakes, Maine, Cornwall, Aruba–all of these places call my name and yet I cannot manage to get to any of them. Evil people mercilessly post photos of their gorgeous beach vacations, day after day. Ugh. I have to practice lovingkindness very, very hard for them. “May you be happy.” At your magnificent beach.

I walk my dogs and play pickleball outdoors as early in the day as possible, then waste away, melted, until the next morning. Old Lady. I might as well stuff a hanky into the neckline of my flowered dress and carry a fan.

I belong to two online artist communities on Facebook, both based in the UK. Granted, they’ve just had their hottest day on record and it was a really hot one. But a couple of weeks earlier, when it was in the upper 90s here and 100% humidity, one of those lovely British artists was whingeing (see what I did there?) about the “searing” heat of 28 degrees Celsius. I looked it up. 82 Fahrenheit! 82!! I would have given my hanky and fan for that!

Just goes to show that all things are relative. And yes, I’m aware that all things do change, as well, and we’ll be griping about the ice, come February.

A way of dealing with this is to think about what we do have. I, for example, do have central air. Very lucky. I have indoor activities that I love, like painting, writing, reading, and eating out. Oh, wait. I don’t eat out because of Covid. Okay, I have many pairs of shorts and sleeveless tops, clean water to drink, and a bathtub. I have watermelon. I have television, for those wrung out, splayed across the couch evening hours. I really am lucky. I know this.

Even so, I really, really, really, really want to be gazing at, sitting at the edge of, or actually in a very large body of water. Right now. Poopoo.

“If there’s a single lesson that life teaches us, it’s that wishing doesn’t make it so.”― Lev Grossman, The Magicians

“Sometimes things become possible if we want them bad enough.” ― T.S. Eliot

“Because there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it’s sent away.” ― Sarah Kay

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here on my blog.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Lovingkindness

Last week I completed the 15-session “Lovingkindness” meditation course by Sharon Salzberg on the 10% Happier app. It is so great. She is so great! I feel a noticeable difference in my daily life as a result and now I’m wanting to keep lovingkindness as my meditation focus going forward, at least for awhile. It is both simple and challenging. “May you be safe. Be happy. Be healthy. Live with ease.” The idea is to apply those four phrases first to yourself, then to another person and another and another, and finally, to all beings.

It was pretty easy to apply the phrases to myself and to someone I love or care about. Very easy! Of course I want me and my loved ones to be happy! Then she asks that you try focusing on someone you might just see in passing, don’t really know, whose name you might not even know. That, too, was easy enough to do. Then, a benefactor, someone who has helped you in some way. Sure, easy, as well. But then she asks that you try applying these phrases to a difficult person or someone who has hurt you in some way. Here is where the change really starts to take place. This is where the greatness begins. I experienced an immediate and profound shift, not just while meditating, but the next day, when I encountered a person who had hurt my feelings several times in the past and whom I had selfishly not forgiven.

I say “selfishly” but it can hardly be called selfish to make yourself miserable over a perceived hurt. It’s like, as is said, drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. I was hurting myself by not forgiving.

Finally, Ms. Salzberg asks us to offer lovingkindness to all beings. I found that as long as I could avoid picturing certain world figures along with “all beings” I could do this, too. I know that the idea of wishing safety, happiness, health and ease on a few destructive, vengeful men who create havoc and tragedy in the world has merit. The thinking is that if these individuals were truly happy they would be nicer; thus, we should wish them well. I get it. I’m not there yet but I do get it.

But I can easily say to you, “May you be safe. Be happy. Be healthy. Live with ease.”

“Lovingkindness is so powerful because it reflects the truth of interconnection. If we don’t necessarily like somebody, we don’t need to spend time with them. But fundamentally, our lives are linked because all life is linked. We are part of an interconnected universe. We are all the traffic.” – Sharon Salzberg

“Of all the contemporary female Buddhist teachers, Sharon Salzberg is the most radically open, the one teacher I have met throughout the years who I can spend lots of time with, speaking about both the sacred and the mundane.” —bell hooks, author, professor, feminist, and social activist

“Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world. ” ― Mary Oliver, Evidence

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here on my blog.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Furthermore . . .

Work in progress aka birthday party in progress

Last week I wrote about my Great Studio Clean Up. It was such a big, oddly significant thing. I was supposed to have done it in 2020, during the lockdown. At least, I intended to. Perfect time for that sort of project, right? I did not do a bit of it.

It was the lovely thing of painting that got me to do it.

All during the ten day Clean Up, I did not paint. Ugh. I so missed it! But I persisted with my project. After many days, I had enough space that I could go back to varnishing my finished paintings. Sacre bleu! Even just varnishing paintings, brushing on plain old clear varnish, I could feel a shift in my brain. It felt relaxing, pleasant, meditative. Ahh. Even that dull thing of varnishing felt so very nice.

Party accoutrements

Why? The Clean Up challenged my brain and body, but not like painting does. It was mentally tiring. Reading through things; rearranging; figuring out what to do about this or that; making all those decisions and judgments. Throw it away or keep it? Keep it where?? There was that one card that read, “I love you very much. David.” David? Who’s David?? I must be punished! Throw it away quickly! Don’t think of it again!

Painting takes me back to childhood. I love seeing the paint go on, the beautiful colors, the brush marks, the whatever-it-is texture showing through, the surprises. Especially when I’m starting a painting, it’s like a birthday party. It’s like my birthday party. I’m wearing the crown and I can do anything at all. I love getting paint on my fingers. I never did like glue, but paint is oh so much fun. I seem to have it permanently on my fingertips now, too, which makes me smile. And if I’m struggling with a painting and can’t get anywhere with it, I can just cover the whole thing with white and start over. La! I love that. There aren’t many things we do that allow for that. If your Thanksgiving turkey is dry or the cake falls, that’s it. Period.

So how lucky am I? Everyone doesn’t have a thing that does that for them, but many do. I see my neighbors with their gardens, having what I imagine is that same kind of joy. One of them gave me a pass on gardening, once I told her about my new love of painting and my reluctance to work on my disastrous flower bed. It’s a wonderful thing, having something you love to do, a beautiful, delicious, glorious thing. I hope you have something of your own, too.

“One must be serious about something, if one wants to have any amusement in life.”― Oscar Wilde

“A hobby is better than love.” ― Marty Rubin

“Count yourself blessed if you have something you love to do, but you are rarely able to do it because you’re too busy doing something else you love even more.” – Josh Steimle

“You have unlimited power on this canvas — can literally, literally move mountains.” ― Bob Ross

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems on my blog.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”
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The Great Studio Clean Up!

Look!

No question what I’m writing about today! I have spent the last ten days decluttering, cleaning and rearranging things in my studio so that it would better suit my painting. Sheesh! I have a bad habit of setting papers and things aside to look at or file “later.” A likely story, eh? Boring stuff. Medicare For You, set-up guides for various electronic gadgets, insurance papers, bank stuff. Ugh. Things I never actually read or even want in my line of vision. But also articles I thought I’d read “one day,” my own handwritten lists of amazing ideas for creative projects, notes to self about all sorts of deep and interesting things and other possibly pithy writing–piles and piles and piles of paper.

Then there are all the hundreds of cards, notes and letters from people in my life, bits that make one feel quite loved, that one feels a definite pang about throwing away, things that one chooses, in the end, never to throw away. Those self-same loved ones will have to do it one day. C’est la vie! In the last ten days I have gone through at least ten very large piles of all these kinds of things in order to clear space in my studio (i.e., my brain) for painting.

Everyone knows that clutter in the environment really does clutter the brain. And once it starts, it grows, like mold. Ugh. Think of that! I have been working in a very messy environment for years, painting within a tiny space, all of my own doing. My many shelves and drawers have been jammed full of things–art supplies, cards made by others and bought by me, scads of collage materials. People say, “Oh, well, you’re an artist. You’re allowed.” No. Well, yes, I’m allowed, but it is still terrible and not fun.

Now that the paper rack is down, I have a nice big painting wall.

About halfway through the process, I looked around the room and thought, it looks almost the same. Ai-yi-yi!!! My son concurred. I was chipping away at the piles but my work surface was still crowded and tiny. Thus, I persisted. We took many bags of paper stuff to recycling. I dismantled and took down the great hulking paper rack holding handmade papers for collage. I don’t use the papers nearly as much now as I used to and the rack felt like a dinosaur leaning over me. I found a much better, more compact way to hang the papers and I put smaller pieces into bins with lids, reducing the visual clutter.

My pretty writing desk was not usable for writing, at all. And the floor beneath it was piled with stuff. Why, the rocks alone! Good God! I put a box marked COOL ROCKS on the curb and several of those were taken. (Also, I’m pretty sure at least one dog peed on it.) I have many more rocks that one would not even call “cool,” and they will be going back to the creek.

Today I gave a bunch of truly fun stuff to a friend for his granddaughter. Imagining her receiving all of it excited me nearly as much as the actual transformed studio. (Okay, I exaggerate. But I’d love to be a fly on the wall when she gets all of it.)

My toys are safely stored in a desk drawer. They’re not going anywhere!

So now, NOW I have some room to breathe.

Now I go again and again into the studio just to look. And I say to Oliver, “See? Look! Look at this!” After ten days he is, I think it’s fair to say, tired of being asked to look. My pretty writing desk! My big empty painting wall!! My expanded work surface. The drafting table. All mine. All ready for me. Of course, it was always all mine and it was I and no one else who turned it into a giant mess. Oliver? No. The dogs? No. Sadly, it was I. You did this to yourself, Old Lady.

But now, NOW look!

“Organization and cleanliness bring spaciousness. When there is space, inspiration and new possibilities can come in.” ― Aline Ra M, Bullshit-Free Mindfulness

“The mindless accumulation of vast mountains of stuff is unforgivably dumb. Mindful curation of meaningful possessions can be a great source of joy.”― Richard Meadows

“If it doesn’t nourish your soul, get rid of it.” – ZensationalLiving.com

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” – Albert Einstein

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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100 Day Projects

So here I am again, yammering on about the terrible state of the world, our country, the news, politics . . . and how much it degrades our happiness, our joy, and even our relationships with others. I debated with myself about whether or not to address any of the actual terrible stuff but really, I am not the person to do it. Nor is that my mission. I am here, instead, to offer the kind of thing I can offer.

When I had a very difficult year or so, during which my mother died, both of my dogs died, and my closest friend died, I gave myself a project. The friend, who was the last of my loves to die during that year, had been a gifted poet. She died at the age of 49 of pancreatic cancer. So I set myself the task of writing a poem a day for 49 days. The poems were all over the place, some about loss and love, some about woods, birds, trees, some silly, and some very serious. I did the writing faithfully every single day. The 49 days turned into more than a year of a daily practice. The poems are in my blog.

That was a healing practice for me. It gave me a purpose and the purpose was love-based. Having that kind of purpose at that time was so essential to me. It helped me to find a place to put all of that emotion. It was selfish, since at the time I never meant to share the poems. But eventually I did post them in my blog and I ended up using some of them on cards and collages.

Now I’m on Instagram and I notice people posting art or specific media with the title 100 Day Project. I haven’t really discovered much about those specific projects but I think that anything that encourages us to make pacts with ourselves can be healing. One hundred days is a big commitment. But isn’t that just what makes it meaningful? It could be a commitment to doing anything–meditating; recording in words or photos something that you find meaningful or inspiring; sending a note about whatever you’re grateful for to a friend who also sends theirs to you; making a small piece of art; taking a walk; listening to an uplifting podcast; doing a random act of kindness; calling a loved one to say how much you care about them. Or if politics is your thing, doing something, however small, for the cause you care about.

I’m still thinking about what my 100 Day Project will be, but it will be something. I am usually busy with some kind of project, anyway, but I’m due for a new one. Maybe sketchbook pages. Maybe random acts of kindness, with a recording of them in a notebook. My projects always seem to include pen and paper. Imagine that!

Shall we make a pact together? What might you do for yourself, for 100 days? It could be anything, great big or tiny, just a commitment to something positive. I’d love to know what you get up to.

“Whatever you do, be sure to do it well.”― Andrena Sawyer

“If you had started doing anything two weeks ago, by today you would have been two weeks better at it.”― John Mayer

“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose – and commit myself to – what is best for me.”― Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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The Joy Workout

The New York Times recently included “The Joy Workout”video in its daily newsletter. Of course, I had to try it, uncoordinated as I am, and then I kept the tab open for a long time, thinking I’d do it every day. (Did I? No. Why don’t we do things that we know will make us feel good?) It really does make you feel joyful! Six parts–reach, sway, bounce, shake, jump for joy, celebrate–get your heart going and not just in the physical sense. The whole thing will make you smile. Movement is a truly wonderful thing.

Smiling is, too. I’m here to tell you it is pretty hard not to smile while shaking, bouncing, and pretend throwing confetti into the air. Did you know that smiling takes way fewer muscles than frowning? We all know people who smile a lot. It’s fun to be around them, I feel. Do you remember in Eat Pray Love, the meditation teacher in Bali who told Elizabeth Gilbert to smile during meditation? All the way to her belly button, as I recall. 🙂

A favorite meditation of mine has Jeff Warren teaching on enjoying the body, “tripping out on the feeling of, yes, having a body . . . grooving on the feeling of breathing, of having a body . . . just a pleasure-loving hippie truant at an Allman Brothers show.” Don’t you love it? I do. And it never fails to give me the feeling of “relaxed enjoyment” (quiet happiness) that he’s going for.

In the musical “Hair” there’s a song “I Got Life.” It’s a raucous celebration of life, of being alive, of having a body, along with blood, toes, teeth, headaches, toothaches, muscles, a liver, etc. . . Give it a listen, do the Joy Workout or better yet, do the Joy Workout while listening to “I Got Life.” Whoa! There’s a great combo! Guaranteed happiness.

Our bodies are the only things we truly own and while they may fail us at some point or cause us trouble, they’re ours. If they’re working at all, even poorly, we’ve got to be grateful that we have them. And if they’re working well, by God, we need to celebrate that!

In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m on a quest to counter, in any way I can, the negativity in the world–the news, the horrors, the huge problems–all of which has a tendency to settle in our bodies, hearts and minds. I think we need to fill ourselves up with nourishing, happy sights, sounds, words, and thoughts to ward off the ills of all the bleak, gloomy input assaulting us every day. It’s sort of like exercising, eating healthy food and taking vitamins to fight off illness. We all need our daily dose of Vitamin J. I do, anyway.

I hope you are doing well!

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

“Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy.” – Abraham Joshua Heschel

“We are never more than one grateful thought away from peace of heart.”― Brother David Steindl-Rast

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Painting for Happiness

My most recent painting that I love

I feel like I have only peripherally written in these letters about painting, even though it is my newest and strongest love. It has kept me from planting even one thing in my flower bed, now overrun with onions, dandelions and who knows what else? I say who knows because I haven’t taken five minutes to really look. Painting could possibly be blamed for my now sketchy exercise routine, the state of my house and yard, recent late bill payments, failure to get my van ready to sell, and even the sorry state of my studio.

Painting, looking at others’ paintings, listening to podcasts about painting, thinking about painting, taking free online painting workshops, and watching videos about painting have increasingly taken over my life. And it makes me happy!

I’m not sure, though, why I’ve been hesitant to talk much or write about it. Well, there are those judgements we all make against ourselves, especially with creative endeavors. I’m only learning. I’m not that good. I’m not there yet. But why would I have to be great at it to tell that this is my newest passion? I feel an awkwardness when people ask, “What have you been up to lately?” My honest answer would be “painting,” but I often feel shy about saying so. I think maybe it seems a bit self-important or arrogant to tell it. But why? When I started playing pickleball, I’d tell anyone who would listen how much I loved it. But somehow to say that I’m painting feels awkward, feels like people wouldn’t understand, feels like I’m saying I’m Picasso.

Couldn’t I allow myself the grace to tell about something I’m doing that I love? It would seem so. If one paints, couldn’t one be called a painter, whether or not one is accomplished at it?

Here I am at the end of last summer’s course, among all the work I did.

I don’t believe I’m alone in feeling shy or insecure about painting, though. In the Find Your Joy online painting course I took in the summer of 2021 and in the online artists’ community I belong to, fear is a big topic. Not so much fear of telling but of failing, looking ridiculous, fear of never creating something beautiful or meaningful. Art somehow brings up a whole set of insecurities in humans. Many of us create because we want to be seen or heard (loved). For all of us, what we create is a part of us. To put your creation out into the world is scary. What if no one loves it (me)? Yikes!

But art should be freeing! It should make your spirit soar. And in the past few weeks, I have found that with painting. Not only do I love it while I’m doing it, but I’m loving what comes of it and I’m feeling more and more eager to show and to tell. So here you are. I’m telling. And if you happened to come to my house, I’d pull you into my studio to show. This is my newest, biggest thing. Painting is a joyful pursuit. I love painting. I am a painter. That last is pretty scary to say but I figure I’ll just keep saying it. I am a painter. I am a painter. You could be a painter.

“Creativity takes courage. ” ― Henri Matisse

“To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it.” ― Osho

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” ― Vincent Willem van Gogh

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Reading for Happiness

In troubled times we all need excellent coping mechanisms. Mine is reading.

I often feel that I just cannot stomach the news: the actual news and then the politics surrounding it (which I don’t consider to be news). Within five minutes of reading, listening to, or watching the news, my heart feels heavy. We get big doses of sadness, anger, frustration and helplessness from the news of the world. Why would I then want to read books or watch movies that offer more of that? I don’t. Isn’t there already enough cruelty and horror in the world? Yes, there is.

I am looking for a respite from it.

At the moment, I’m reading this one, set in the English countryside in WWII.

A few years ago, I read a couple of Alexander McCall Smith’s books in his No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency series. I thought they were enjoyable but I wasn’t exactly wow’d by them. Nevertheless, I recently picked up Blue Shoes and Happiness (Now there’s an irresistible title!) at my favorite thrift store, feeling like I needed an easy book to read. I had said to my sister that nothing much happens and that the book was amusing but not Barbara Pym funny. But halfway through I fell in love with it. It really is lovely.

His many books (more than 100!) are charming and lovely, full of humanity, wisdom, kindness, and quiet humor. They are also filled with lovely descriptive and philosophical passages on love between people and love of place. Who would not want to live in Alexander McCall Smith’s beloved Botswana, a peaceful, communal, tolerant, and soulful country? I haven’t felt compelled to look and see if Botswana’s residents really do enjoy such a tranquil existence, nor do I care to. He could call the country Cuckooland and write it as utter fantasy and that would be okay with me.

It’s not as if nothing happens, though. The characters in these books have problems, of course, and they seek Mma Ramotswe’s detective prowess for help. In the end, all is gently resolved, and usually a cup of bush tea with a slice of cake is involved. Who would not want to have a No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency to turn to when troubles arise? Who would not want to share a cup of tea with the “traditionally built” Mma Ramotswe from time to time?

So if blue shoes can provide happiness (and I believe they can), so can the right books. One must be careful what one reads, I feel, especially these days and especially at night. Reading these books at bedtime is like getting a nightly massage for the soul. And I think we all need that these days.

“It is sometimes easier to be happy if you don’t know everything.”― Alexander McCall Smith, Morality for Beautiful Girls

“So the small things came into their own: small acts of helping others, if one could; small ways of making one’s own life better: acts of love, acts of tea, acts of laughter. Clever people might laugh at such simplicity, but, she asked herself, what was their own solution?” ― Alexander McCall Smith, The Good Husband of Zebra Drive

“I am just a tiny person in Africa, but there is a place for me, and for everybody, to sit down on this earth and touch it and call it their own.”― Alexander McCall Smith, The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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The Power of Cake

I’ve learned a lot of odd things on my travels to art shows.

Many years ago I tried the Bella Vista Art Show in Bella Vista Arkansas. It’s a big show and there was an option to put up your display in a huge tent that housed many artists. Tired of rainy shows and thinking this would save me from having to worry about rain, I opted for that. Bad idea. It did indeed rain very hard and the big tent leaked, right above my booth! Organizers helped me drape a sheet of plastic across the top of my booth but pretty soon it filled up with water and I had to poke a hole in it to let the water slowly pour out. The rain was a trial all weekend long.

Needless to say, that show did not make my list of top five or top ten shows, or even my list of Shows To Try Again. But that show was memorable for another reason.

The gal that helped me out told me something I’ve never forgotten. She was going through a rough time, maybe a divorce. I can’t quite remember. A friend came to her house with a whole cake and a sheet of plastic. He spread the plastic out on her floor, put the cake in the middle, and asked her to eat it without using her hands. Well! You cannot do that without getting cake and icing all over your face. And feeling silly. I imagine it would be something like a one-person pie fight. And it really did cheer her up and help her turn a corner. She said he did this regularly for any friend who was going through a rough patch.

I thought the idea was grand! I’ve even thought I’d like to do it myself, just for fun. I do love cake. But you can see, can’t you, that planting your face in a cake might very easily flip a switch in your brain? Might give you a new perspective. Might shake up the glum mood you’ve been wrapped up in. And it would be less messy than a pie fight.

I love the creativity of this, too. It definitely conveys love and affection, as when we bring sweets to people who are hurting. But then there’s the aspect of play. Lovely! Takes you back to your first birthday, when parents set a cake down in front of you and let you do what you wanted with it. At least, that’s what I did with my kids. So you’re transported back to that innocent time when you never worried about getting food on your face or about conducting yourself properly at the table. You didn’t think about how much you weighed or that you might get fat if you ate even a tiny slice of cake. You didn’t care about looking silly or uncool or unsophisticated or any of those things we worry about as adults. Your inner child is a messy, joyful little thing. Why not embrace some of that, with paint, dirt, clay–or cake?

“The opposite of play is not work. It’s depression.” – Brian Sutton-Smith

“A party without a cake is just a meeting.” – Julia Child

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Never underestimate the healing power of cake.” – Kay Foley!

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”