Kay Foley

Posted on February 26, 2023 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

Hello, Old Friend, Part Two

As I write this, I have not yet left for Taiwan, but when you receive it, I will be flying back to the U.S. It feels a bit odd to write into the future.

Anticipating my trip, I have settled into a pleasant curiosity about the long, 14 hour flight from San Francisco to Taipei. As one who has never been able to sleep much on an airplane, I had been dreading that part of the trip, thinking of it as something to get behind me. Now, suddenly I’m imagining that it might be a cozy, cocoon-like experience. I’ll be in my window seat in my comfy clothes, perhaps my most loved slippers, with my little pillow and my melatonin, with nothing I must do or take care of. It could be nice! I mean, you know, not lying-on-the-beach nice or cozy-at-home-in-my-bed nice, but it could be nice in its way.

And I’ll be on my way to have a wonderful time with my son, in a completely new environment, a completely different culture. I’m looking forward to all of that very much.

But right now, as I write, I’m still at home, shivering in my studio. And as you receive this, I’ll be in the cocoon again, flying back to San Francisco. There’s an oddness and a comfort in imagining all of this, too. It’s as if I’m sending myself into the future.

I went up and down and around and around over this trip. It challenges me in many ways and at first I was afraid of it. Where’s my pluck? I wondered. And now here it is. Now I can say, Hello, Old Friend. I know you. You used to drive all over the place, alone, to shows. You loved going to new towns, all alone. You once tried like hell to get that crazy old conversion van out of the driveway in 20″ of snow, to drive north to Iowa, of all places, for a show. In December! I do know you. And I’m glad to see you.

I’ll come home with stories and ideas and nuggets of wisdom and a heart full of love and loads of photos. I’m sure of that. And I will share.

“Never did the world make a queen of a girl who hides in houses and dreams without traveling.” ― Roman Payne, The Wanderess

“It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

“All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. ”― Erma Bombeck

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

Posted on February 26, 2023 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

Hello, Old Friend

Thich Nhat Hanh suggests that we greet an uncomfortable thought, worry, or fear with, “Hello, Old Friend. I know you.” When I heard this in the gentle, loving voice of Roshi Joan Halifax, I immediately felt an Ahh.

I suppose when you acknowledge that you’ve been here before, you’ve felt this before, and yet life went on and possibly even became quite nice again, you can imagine that it will once more. There’s also something comforting about familiarity, even with a negative thought. Oh yeah. You again. I know you. You’re back. That little part of me that nags and bothers from time to time, that needs something again. My little demon. Maybe it just needs soothing.

You never know when a little nugget of wisdom will hit home, do you? You do have to keep listening for them, though. Although if you miss it first time around, it’s likely to pop up again. I’m trying to listen harder these days, since it might be nicer to try and catch them on their first time flying by. Time is limited, you know. The next little bit of grace I pick up might make all the difference in an interaction I’m about to have with a child or a friend, one of my sons or siblings, or even a perfect stranger. So I want to listen!

Sometimes, too, these bits of wisdom are my own epiphanies and realizations. I have found things in my Morning Pages that I wrote down long ago and I’d managed to forget, things that were surprisingly insightful! And yet here I am having this beautiful discovery all over again. Good thing some little part of me is paying attention.

“My actions are my only true belongings.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“For things to reveal themselves to us, we need to be ready to abandon our views about them.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“What you are looking for is already in you…You already are everything you are seeking.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Thanks for listening,
Kay

Posted on February 26, 2023 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

Open Open Open

One morning not too long ago I was walking my dogs up the street and there, on the curb, was a smudged piece of paper with the words OPEN OPEN OPEN on them. Well! I picked it up, of course. It had to be meant for me and it had to be a sign. I’m always saying I want to stay open–to people, places, things, and ideas–so I took this as the universe saying, “Here. Stick this on your wall and do it!”

Turning it over, I saw that it was a sheet of sandpaper. ? Odd, but beside the point. I brought it home and set it down somewhere here in my studio with all the other scraps of paper and pieces of thing that I need to do something with, i.e. it’s not on the wall–yet. Also beside the point. The point is, I took it as a sign.

Possibly as you’re reading this, I am on my way to or already in Taiwan. Whoa! My son invited me to go, I took a breath (many breaths, really) and said YES. He wants me to go enough to have bought me a ticket! And he wants us to rent bikes and ride the coast. As I said, I took many breaths. But I thought, If I don’t do a thing like this now, at 71, when would I? And even though just the fact that he asked is enough in itself to make me feel very much loved and happy, the actual going will have to be even more amazing. I can just imagine the opening that will happen, with so many new experiences.

So I will fly to California and visit siblings and their kids and then, from there, fly for 14 hours to Taipei. (Many many breaths.) In Taipei, the Taiwan Lantern Festival will be taking place. Whoa. My eyeballs will be filled with the wonder of it all. The theme of the Festival is “Light Up the Future.” It is a celebration of blessings, ushering in the first full moon of the Lunar New Year. It is all about hope, light, and reaching new heights. I feel that it fits right in with that scrap of paper commanding me to “Open! Open! Open!”

I will report back upon my return.

“Make your ego porous. Will is of little importance, complaining is nothing, fame is nothing. Openness, patience, receptivity, solitude is everything.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke

“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox . . . . ” ― Tony Schwartz

“That’s the funny thing about life. Extraordinary things can happen to ordinary people like you and me, but only if we open ourselves up enough to let them.” ― Mike Gayle, All the Lonely People

Thanks for listening,
Kay

Posted on February 26, 2023 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

The Long View

Although I do love wandering around in the woods right here in town and woods that I visit on travels–in Maine, California, New York, Oregon, oh anywhere–there is something really wonderful about taking the long view, as well.

For that, when I’m at home, I go to High Ridge. There’s a long hill to walk up and then at the top, long wide flat trails to follow, with tall grasses on either side. The long view, the broad vista, all those tall grasses–ahh. Very peaceful, especially on a clear-ish winter day. Blue skies, beautiful cloud formations, and the lovely sound of tall grasses rustling. Just beautiful!

You can take a trail down through a wooded area to a creek, with a rocky climb back up, and that is also very pretty. But sometimes I just want that wide open horizon all around me. While you do get a real perspective on the landscape at such a vantage point, it’s also possible to let one’s restless mind and spirit settle in such a meditative setting. Early in the morning or towards sunset, in the gathering light, it’s a magical quiet that can make your heart ache.

I feel the same sort of quiet magic at the ocean, with its steady back and forth, the unending long view, the broad vista. I know a guy who lives in Virginia. Driving along a tree-lined road with him, I commented how pretty it was with all those trees. He said he didn’t like it at all. He wanted a view, a panorama. He felt closed in by all those trees, day after day. I get that. There’s beauty in both. A time for both.

“This is the great adventure and the great discovery. No one can do it for us. Until we have reached the top of the mountain we cannot see in full glory the view that lies beyond; but glimpses of light illumine our path to the mountain.”- Juan Mascaro

“The more boundless your vision, the more real you are.”― Deepak Chopra, Life After Death

“It is a narrow mind which cannot look at a subject from various points of view.” ― George Eliot, Middlemarch

Thanks for listening,
Kay

Posted on January 29, 2023 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

Year of the Rabbit

Happy Lunar New Year! Since I am a Rabbit in the Chinese Zodiac, I was initially very excited to realize that 2023 is the Year of the Water Rabbit. I was born in the year of the Golden Rabbit (way cooler), said to be “kind-hearted, conservative, lively and enthusiastic.” Lovely!

I have lately been contemplating changes to my card business and piano teaching. All of those, all at once. Why? Something about the new year, combined with taking down my solo show of paintings, has pushed me into rethinking all of my endeavors. Redesign or retire a bunch of my cards. Set up a subscription service. Revitalize my wholesale business. Reconfigure the way I charge for piano lessons. All these things! All at once! Right before a big trip! I have been making myself a little bit crazy. Terribly stressed, to say the least. A poor plan for a happy life.

So the realization that this is the Year of the Rabbit–MY YEAR–was quite exciting! I love any excuse to celebrate and to imagine I will have good fortune. But.

I just read (on the internet, of course) that even though the Rabbit is a symbol of peace, prosperity, and longevity, this particular year will be fraught with challenges and frequent life changes for us Rabbits. The numbers 1 and 7 are unlucky this year. What the heck? I happen to be 71!! Rabbits, I read, have offended the God of Age. How, I cannot say. I do frequently use the phrase “old lady” in a self-deprecating manner. Is that so bad?? We are advised to be circumspect about problem solving and communication, avoid big life changes, wear red underwear, red socks and lucky dog trinkets to reduce bad luck, and then we just might come out okay, possibly better, in the end.

I can do red underwear, as I love red–but red socks? Let me think. In addition, I would be very happy to wear lucky dog trinkets. I am being circumspect about all these changes I’m considering, all at once, like a crazy person, so much so that I’ve had to do special breathing to reduce my stress.

New is good, though. Change is good. Challenges are good! Lucky numbers and colors are fun, especially red. And it’s always good to think things through before making any big decisions. That is sound advice. I am off to Taiwan in a couple of weeks. Perhaps I will learn more about all of these things while there. And I’ll ponder all of those many changes I’ve been considering, perhaps on the 14-hour plane ride! No rush. Let everything wash over me. Live the best life I can. With or without red socks.

“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help.” ― Bill Watterson

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

“I wandered everywhere, through cities and countries wide. And everywhere I went, the world was on my side.” ― Roman Payne, Rooftop Soliloquy

Thanks for listening,
Kay

Posted on January 29, 2023June 11, 2023 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

Moving On

At the Walnut Street art show in Springfield MO

My van failed to pass inspection last May and I sold it yesterday, marking the true end to my art fair gypsy life.

I’d long ago cut out the rainy/cold/windy/beastly hot/snowy! outdoor shows. Then along came a little virus. No indoor shows. And last year, aside from a very small, easy, one-day show just down the road, I did not travel. Moving on to other things.

But since I absolutely HATE buying and selling cars, I only just put the van on the market last week. Now it’s gone. Ahh.

I took advice from a friend about how to post it. Put it up on my Facebook page, hoping the friend who’d bought both my loveseat and Honda Accord, would feel the need to own an old van with 209,000 miles on it. Mostly highway! Nope. I then had to offer it to strangers. Nerve-wracking. I was asking $2500, as Edmonds’ suggested.

Right away, like the naive old lady I once heard loudly reading off her credit card number, three-digit code and expiration date into a phone at a thrift store (true), I got scammed. A flurry of messages asked me to give my cell phone number so they could send me a code and, as I found out, grab my number and use it to get into my Google account and scam other people. Don’t ever do this!! I foolishly did it one time, against everything my body and intuition were telling me, then feverishly called one son and then another, to fix it. How would I get along without them? What was I thinking?? I know better!! And yet. Old Lady.

Then there were the lowball offers. Who makes an offer sight unseen, anyway? Several offered $1000. One of those said he could throw in some “firearms” if I was interested. My only interest in firearms is that they be outlawed! I wanted to say (yell). Another offered $300. Cash!

In the end and rather quickly I sold it to a guy who said it was for a good cause. Piqued my interest, of course. I checked it out and it’s all true. He is a lovely man who knows two of the nicest people I know and who is creating a transitional living house for people struggling with addiction. Since I once worked in that field, I was happy to let him have it for less than I’d wanted. So my trusty green Toyota, which has had a pretty beautiful life already, will be transporting people who are trying to better their lives. La! Both I and the van are moving on, in good ways. I like it.

“Girls, you’ve gotta know when it’s time to turn the page.” ― Tori Amos

“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.” ― Shannon L. Alder

“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

Posted on January 29, 2023January 29, 2023 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

Proof of God

I, a non-religious, “fallen away” Catholic, have felt for many years that Beethoven’s Emperor Concerto is proof that there is a God.

How could a mere human have created it? Beethoven himself claimed his music came to him from God. And when I listen to this unbelievably glorious piece of music, I think, Yes. Of course. There is no other explanation. It is simply sublime. The ascending and descending, the gentle, tender melody suddenly breaking into a grand, passionate torrent of wild booming amazement. It is perfect. Whenever it comes on the radio in my car, I have to sit and listen until the end. No question.

On the afternoon of New Year’s Eve, feeling particularly ebullient as I got into my car, I thought, Ooh, maybe the Emperor Concerto will be playing!–and miraculously, it was, but deep into the third movement. Ach! I turned the volume up, sat in my driveway until the end. (How many times have I done that?) Came into the house and found the video with Leonard Bernstein conducting Krystian Zimerman. Oh my God. Leonard Bernstein unabashedly bouncing around on the podium. Zimerman, eyes closed in ecstasy, in another world. I myself cannot sit still as I listen. I watched it twice through.

Now I’m sharing it with you. Listen and watch. Let it take you. See if you aren’t transported. Forty two minutes and you will feel incredible.

All we need to do to experience awe is open up to it. Towards the end of his life, Beethoven could not even physically hear his own music. But he must have heard it in his soul. Though his ears had failed him, he remained open and, as he said, received the Ninth Symphony, which contains the famous “Ode to Joy.”

We can’t all be Beethoven. But we can find awe in both the grand and the seemingly inconsequential. The sparkle of frost on just about anything, the sun making a surprise breakthrough on a grey morning, a lucky glimpse of a kingfisher sailing over the creek. So many things, there for us to love.

“The Lord and I are on speaking terms, and our bickering most often gets penned onto a piece of parchment.” – Ludwig van Beethoven

“God, Madame, sends me down some of his angels and they whisper sweet melodies in my ear.” – Charles Gounod

“You don’t need faith to believe in God, because there are plenty of signs available of His existence. Mozart wrote a symphony as a child. Heredity cannot account for this. There is only one explanation: the Creator chooses people as His instruments to produce some beauty in a world that is all too ugly. ” – Herbert von Karajan

Thanks for listening,
Kay

Posted on January 8, 2023 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

So Far, So Good

9:30 a.m. on this New Year’s Day I asked one of my dog walking friends the usual “How are you?” and he says, “I’m okay. It’s been a good year, so far.”

New Year’s Day. I know people say Oh, it’s just another day, like any other. But it’s really not. It’s an auspicious day. Why not let it be so? Why not treat this day (or any day, if you like) as what it is–a grand new start to whatever you can dream up? Why not let the fact that it’s the first day of a new week (as it is this year), a new month, and a new year whisper to you that this might be the first day of what could easily be your best year yet? It could! And why not set intentions for the year, choose a word, do some little rituals of ending and beginning? Why the hell not??

Obviously, I love these kinds of things. I love having an excuse to make grand plans, to think of the year as shiny and new, to start out with a great big full heart.

Intentions for 2023

1. Say YES more often.
2. Stay open to possibility.
3. Learn something new.
4. Spend as much time as I can a) in nature b) with people and dogs that I love c) doing things I love d) having fun e) on my own.
5. Be kind.
6. Fix up my house.

There. That’s a good start. I apologize for the brevity of this letter. Honestly, I’ve been so busy on this New Year’s Day doing some of the things on my list (saying yes, staying open, having fun with friends I love, walking in the woods with Miles) that I haven’t had the chance to sit down and do some proper year end/year beginning writing! But I will. And I’ll give you a big old fabulous, magical and inspiring Neil Gaiman quote (below) to make up for it.

So far, 2023 has been a great year for me, too.

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” ― Brad Paisley

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.” ― T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets

“We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives . . . not looking for flaws, but for potential.” ― Ellen Goodman

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”
― Neil Gaiman

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

Posted on December 26, 2022 by Kay Foley — 2 Comments

Baked Alaska

I made Baked Alaska for our Christmas Eve dessert this year. Mmm.

A dreamy, imaginative girl, I held Baked Alaska up as a symbol of the life I might one day lead as a writer, with an apartment in New York City, trips to Paris, and exotic dinners in fancy restaurants. This was loosely based on movies, music, and my mother telling me about Baked Alaska. It sounded exotic, sophisticated, and divine! I don’t quite remember her circumstances, but I’m fairly certain she must have had that pleasure before she married my father and gave birth to us seven kids in the short span of ten years. As a single woman, she had a fun-loving group of girlfriends, took some wonderful trips with them, spent all the money she earned as a secretary on beautiful suits, hats, and travel. It sounded as if she, my aunt, and their friends most likely treated themselves to a few luxuries on those trips.

Paris! Paris! (The brooch is of the Eiffel Tower.)

My mother played the piano and as a girl, she had dreams of one day being a concert pianist. I imagine that her dream, much like mine, included a polished, sophisticated life, though she never spoke of that. I remember her playing certain pieces as we lay in bed at night–a Chopin waltz, “Anitra’s Dance,” from Grieg’s Peer Gynt Suite–both of which I later learned. She would not have described herself as dreamy or imaginative, no, but I think I came by those traits naturally. I bet she pictured herself living a very different life from what she ended up living, as did I. I know she didn’t have as much luck or as many choices as I did, to fashion her own life as she wanted, though.

I have zero regrets about the life I’ve had. Oh, I guess I wish I’d been more adventurous when I was young, traveled more, lived larger. I ended up living very far from my heart’s friend, the sea, but here where I am, I have a truly lovely community of friends that I would not give up. No. I did what I was comfortable with, began to love nature far more than I did as a young woman, and found ways to live a creative life with my three wonderful and amazing sons. I have a small house that needs many repairs but which is filled with modest treasures that I and others have created. It’s not in New York City or Paris, but in humble, lovely-in-its-own-way, Missouri. I have a small piano and a somewhat ragtag group of piano students. I paint. I write these letters and you, my darlings, read them. I even figured out how to make Baked Alaska right here in my own kitchen! It’s a wonderful life.

Inspiration comes from surprising places. This week it came in the guise of a dessert that got me thinking about my childhood, my mother, the piano, and my many dreams. That’s the beauty of writing. It takes you on a journey.

“Books are the plane, and the train, and the road. They are the destination, and the journey. They are home.” ― Anna Quindlen, How Reading Changed My Life

“Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.
You must travel it by yourself.
It is not far. It is within reach.
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know.
Perhaps it is everywhere – on water and land.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.” ― Michelle Obama, Becoming

If you’d like to see my new paintings online, go quickly here. They will be there through January 5, 2023. (Good God! 2023 already!) Be sure to click on the thumbnails to see the whole picture! If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

Posted on December 26, 2022 by Kay Foley — Leave a comment

A Holiday MerryThoughts

To all of you celebrating holidays this weekend, I’m sending an extra little letter with wishes that your holidays be lovely, warm, cozy, and maybe even a little bit magical.

I love the idea that magic and miracles could happen. I like to believe that the possibility of peace in modern times (itself a miracle) is real. I love hearing stories of people loving people no matter what. I am all for the words WONDER and BELIEVE. And so this time of year is dear to my heart.

MAY YOU HAVE PEACE IN YOUR HEART THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.

“Winter then in its early and clear stages, was a purifying engine that ran unhindered over city and country, alerting the stars to sparkle violently and shower their silver light into the arms of bare upreaching trees. It was a mad and beautiful thing that scoured raw the souls of animals and man, driving them before it until they loved to run. And what it did to Northern forests can hardly be described, considering that it iced the branches of the sycamores on Chrystie Street and swept them back and forth until they rang like ranks of bells.” – Mark Helprin, Winter’s Tale

If you’d like to see my new paintings online, go here. Be sure to click on the thumbnails to see the whole picture! If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. If you enjoy these letters, feel free to forward this one to anyone you think might like it. And if someone forwarded this one to you, you can sign up here to receive the letters right in your Inbox. Finally, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

Thanks for listening,
Kay