Category: MerryThoughts

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Equanimity

Well, I had written a letter to send out on Thursday but I’d written it the previous Sunday, the Sunday before the horrifying events of Wednesday, January 6th. I did not have the heart to send out what was a nice letter but wholly inappropriate to the day. And I felt mired in the muck of Wednesday, unable to write or accomplish anything.

I, like most people, have a very difficult time maintaining equanimity in the face of terrible events. Equanimity or “mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation” is challenging in the best of times. But in the face of huge, painful events, it’s easy for the healthiest of us to fall into despair, become stuck, angry, or depressed. There are those whose words we can look to, however, heroes who continued to rise above and keep going. Martin Luther King, Jr. was one of those. He once wrote,

“If you can’t fly, then run; if you can’t run, then walk; if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

And his life exemplified that very thing of moving forward, stalwart, in the face of racism, scorn, and danger.

On Thursday, in my despairing state, I listened to a short meditation on equanimity by Roshi Joan Halifax. As a mantra, she suggested the words strong back. I like this because it’s simple, understandable, and easily imagined as a symbol of strength of character, self-containment, and yes, equanimity. A strong back holds us upright, enables us to do many things, ensures that we remain rooted in who we are and what we believe. We don’t waver; we don’t collapse; we are who we are, regardless of what’s going on around us.

Soft front (gentle heart), strong back.

“Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

ENC 309 Tree Within

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you like this letter, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

It’s nice for me to think of you out there, reading this. I hope we all weather this crisis with soft hearts while standing strong for what is right.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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A Bright New Year

I know that many people are anxious to put 2020 behind them. But I never want to trash a whole year–and aren’t there always good things about any year you’ve lived through? I’ll just answer for you–yes. Even so, I do love celebrating the start of a new one.

A new year offers the chance to make grand plans, set good intentions and move forward. To be the best version of yourself. To embrace the perfect, true Self that Deepak Chopra says we all possess, that can never be altered or broken. January, set in the cold dark winter, is, for me, energizing and full of promise.

“And now let us believe in a long year that is given to us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been.”

Rainer Maria Rilke

So first, on New Year’s Eve I like to consider what I want to leave behind before starting a new year. These have to be things that I have the power to leave behind, like my attitude about something, a habit or way of thinking that doesn’t serve me well, or hurts and slights that I haven’t let go of. Sometimes I write them on pieces of paper and burn them, for good measure.

And then on New Year’s Day I write New Year’s Resolutions. Always. This year I’m going to take one thing I’ve learned from 2020 and build on it. Let’s all do it!

Pick out one particular difficulty, one frailty you’ve struggled with, one aspect of the year that was particularly trying. Then use it as a new way of seeing who you are, a discovery, or a new direction. And instead of hoping to be rid of it, how about embracing it and making it your biggest ally in 2021? If you struggled with loneliness, for example, you could see that as your capacity for loving people. This is a strength. Make it a goal to connect with people in new ways, whether you can be with them or not. Celebrate this gift–your love of others–and connect in creative, new, original ways.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Mary Oliver

This card, Life Well Lived, expresses a wish I have for all of us.

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you like this letter, you’ll find past letters and poems here.

It’s nice for me to think of you out there, reading this. I know that your one difficulty will turn out to be a great strength in 2021.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Merry Christmas!

Some years I write and design a Christmas card that’s just for friends and family, one that expresses my thoughts about the year. I did that in 2007, after I’d had a bad auto accident, broken my neck and somehow escaped paralysis. I felt incredibly lucky!

This year, like that one, calls for a special card. I have again been lucky. I’ve lost no loved one to the virus. At the outset I thought such a loss was a given. Instead, I’ve gained some wonderful things from this difficult year. I’ve reassessed many things, made some changes that have been fulfilling. I’ve learned more about who and what means most to me. I hope you have, too, amid the pain and difficulty. I hope you, too, have discovered some energizing change this year.

So here we are–it’s Christmas Eve. I have fond memories of buying Christmas trees from the Optimist Club. One of the first years I was on my own with my three small boys, I was feeling less-than because our little family included just me and my boys. But a very kind older gentleman who’d helped us with the tree said to me, “You sure have a nice family.” It was just what I needed to hear and he probably had no idea what it meant to me. I’ve never forgotten that. He made the Optimists our Christmas tradition.

This year there was, apparently, a tree shortage. At the Optimist lot, I found the gates locked and not a stick of anything inside. Crestfallen, I ended up getting a scrawny Fraser Fir at the hardware store. It is so skinny and sparse I can pick it up with one hand and I swear I could carry it around all day while playing pickleball, cleaning house, walking the dogs, and baking cookies. 🙂

But now that it’s full of lights and decorations, I’d say it’s a perfectly lovely tree. Our own Charlie Brown tree for a nice cozy Christmas. My son, our two dogs, and me. I hope your Christmas is just as cozy.

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”

― Henry James

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you like this letter, you’ll find past letters and poems right here.

It’s nice for me to think of you out there, reading this. I hope your holidays are filled with renewal and hope, merriment and laughter.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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Perspective

Often when I’m walking in the woods early in the morning I’ve been struck by how different things look as I’m walking east (towards the sun) as opposed to with the sun at my back. Leaves all lit up with sunlight beaming through them are beautiful and veiny and bright as I’m approaching from the west. But as soon as I’ve passed them and I turn to look back, they’ve changed back into their ordinary selves, at least, as ordinary as a leaf can be. That beautiful glow is gone. Their shapes, however nice, do not make my eyes widen with their brilliance.

Same leaves from the other direction

Often when I’m walking in the woods early in the morning I’ve been struck by how different things look as I’m walking east (towards the sun) as opposed to with the sun at my back. Leaves all lit up with sunlight beaming through them are beautiful and veiny and bright as I’m approaching from the west. But as soon as I’ve passed them and I turn to look back, they’ve changed back into their ordinary selves, at least, as ordinary as a leaf can be. That beautiful glow is gone. Their shapes, however nice, do not make my eyes widen with their brilliance.

“I knew life began where I stood in the dark, looking out into the light.”

– Yusef Komunyakaa

On the other hand, isn’t it cozy and warming to have the sun at your back? And don’t you see better when the sun is not in your eyes? And isn’t it rather inspiring to see your shadow cast as tall as can be, making you feel like you could do anything at all? Hmm. As usual, nothing is black or white. And that’s a good thing, I think.

“Leave the door open for the unknown, the door into the dark. That’s where the most important things come from.” – Rebecca Solnit

Which way do we choose to look at any given moment and what difference will that make in what we see?

If you’re looking for my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you like this letter, you’ll find past letters and poems on my blog.

It’s nice for me to think of you out there, reading this. I hope your day is filled with both light and dark.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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A Month of Children’s Books

Here’s my Very Small Animal, Rufus, with his own tiny Eeyore.

I’ve decided to read children’s books through the month of December this year. Why? Well, the best of them are filled with wisdom, humor, beauty, imagination, adventure, and comfort–all things we could use plenty of right now. Here’s my list: the Pooh books, Alice in Wonderland, the real Peter Pan, The Wind in the Willows, the Narnia books. If you want to be happy, children’s books are a pretty good plan. And being happy is a pretty good plan, too.

I was collecting children’s books before my sons were born. I had always loved the stories and the art, as well as that dreamy feeling that all kinds of unusual things just might be possible, e.g. walking through the back of a wardrobe into another land. Then I had kids, which gave me an even better reason to buy all the lovely children’s books. I began reading aloud to Cole when he was a baby and then eventually I’d have the three of them crowded around me on the couch while I read and read and read. At bedtime when the story was finished, Cole would say, “End. Bed. Numie” (pacifier).

I made this clay sculpture of Pooh and Piglet before my sons were born and gave it to my sister one Christmas.
I have my special favorites, among them and maybe most of all, Winnie The Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner, the latter of which does have a rather poignant, if not sad, ending. There is something to love about each character, even grumpy old sarcastic Eeyore and Small, a beetle, the tiniest of Rabbit’s numerous friends and relations. Bouncy Tigger, timid little Piglet, steadfastly loving Pooh, bossy Rabbit, haughty Owl, Kanga and her sweet Baby Roo, and of course, the plucky, heroic Christopher Robin–all lovable and loved by each other, despite their various shortcomings.If only we could be as accepting of each other’s little peccadillos as they are. Deepak Chopra speaks of the “true self” or spirit as perfect, loving, creative, and light-filled. He says your true self cannot be altered or broken, no matter what you do or is done to you. It could be hidden beneath ego and personality–but it remains there, unchanged. I love this idea.

Pooh’s true self is always visible to us and to his friends, which is why he is so very lovable. There is no artifice or ego with him. He is a ball of love with arms, legs, a stout middle, and a head for poetry and singing. He is ready for joy and full of generous thoughts.Randy Pausch suggested, in his lovely book, The Last Lecture, “Be a Tigger, not an Eeyore.” Well, I’ve liked that idea ever since I read it, but now I think I’d rather be a Pooh. Tigger is awfully bouncy. Pooh is just Pooh, through and through–his true perfect self. He is ready for an expotition at the drop of a hat and also for “a little smackerel of something” at around eleven in the morning or at any time, really. I admire both of those qualities. Pooh loves his friends and values the little things in life. And he is very huggable, partly owing to those daily elevenses.

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?” “What’s for breakfast,” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?” “I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully. “It’s the same thing,” he said.

― A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

This card, NM900 Wonderful Time, speaks to the friendships in these great books.

If you’re interested in my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website. And if you like this letter, find more of my writing (letters and poems) on my blog.

It’s nice for me to think of you out there, reading this. I hope you think about revisiting those classic children’s books you’ve loved–or discover some new ones, perhaps while enjoying a little smackerel of something and a cup of tea.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

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The Turn of the Calendar Page

No matter what month it is or is going to be, I love the start of a new one. I love turning the pages of my various calendars over to a new month. It doesn’t matter if a beloved month is coming to an end or the new month marks the end of a season that I’ve particularly enjoyed. There is just something about a brand new month that speaks of possibilities, opening doors, newness, and joy.

This metal calendar is one that I bought at a lovely and now very much missed store here in Columbia, a la campagna. When the pages for that year ran out, I decided to recreate them for the next year and the next. So this is a yearly ritual I observe–the making of the new pages–along with choosing new calendars to hang right here next to my computer and upstairs, by my bed.


I take pleasure in many little things like this, partly because I love the four seasons but partly because I like homey little rituals, down to the protective closing of the curtains at day’s end, my mug of tea with pen and paper in the morning, a bit of meditation with my little dog Rufus on my lap. And the turning of the calendar page at the start of each month.

The last couple of weeks have brought frost to our landscape. If I get out early enough on a bright frosty morning I’m able to capture the sparkle and glow of the last colors of fall and also the look of fairy dust outlining every branch, stem, thorn and fallen leaf. Glorious! Soon there will be no more red or yellow, but there will always be other beauties. So many! And these changes in nature, too, speak to the turning of the Earth, of the clock, of the page.

“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter
to give it sweetness.”
― John Steinbeck

If you’re interested in my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website.

It’s nice for me to think of you out there, reading this. I hope you, too, have some little comforting rituals in your life, ones that are all yours.

Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”

Need to get in touch? Email me: [email protected]

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A Large Amount of Gratitude

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A.A.Milne

My heart, too, is holding a rather large amount of Gratitude lately. Yes, it’s 2020, a challenging year. The coronavirus changed everything for everyone, world over. Wow. But in this difficult year I have been lucky in very many ways, most of them directly because of the very thing that made this a challenging year.

I am almost ashamed to admit how happy and content I am, of late. Yes, if I look at the world as a whole, things can look pretty bleak. But I try not to listen to all of that too much of the time, remembering that right here in my little world, I am lucky, happy, safe and sound.

This morning in the woods where I walk with my dog Miles I said, aloud, “Oh my God, I’m happy.” It was a cloudy, chilly day, too. But there is so much everywhere to love. There are certain trees. I wrap my arms around one particular tree each morning, pressing my body into a me-shaped indentation in the huge trunk. It feels very comforting, especially now, when we are warned against hugging each other. Here’s a photo of it but I’m certain you can’t really see the lovely concave place that fits me perfectly. I even like pressing my cheek to the rough old bark. I feel a thrumming inside there, and then of course, in my heart. It feels like meditation.

My meditation tree.

So now I sound like a total goofball. Well.

Beautiful wet sycamore up close. I love how the bark does.

On Thanksgiving morning I make a list of all I’m thankful for. Why not? Why not just put it all down on paper? It feels really great to do. I’ve been doing it for so long now that I would miss it if I didn’t. I put all sorts of things on that list, including trees. It seems right and good to do so. We have miracles all around us and we owe it to them and to ourselves to acknowledge them. Several trees will be on my list, along with other things big and little that give me a light heart. That list is always very long and I think it might just be even longer this year.

This card, ENC310 Dance is available on my Ampersand Cards website.

So thank you for reading this (now I’m thankful for that!) and I hope you have an intimate but wonderful little Thanksgiving in this year of 2020.

Kay

P.S. If you are looking for cards or art, you can find all of that at Ampersand Cards.

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Out for a Walk

My stalwart companion, Miles Louis

Now that the weather is chillier, I’m taking my dog Miles out to a nature area that we love to roam. In the summer, we do neighborhood leash walks to avoid Death By Copperhead. Both kinds of walks and really, every kind of walk can be wonderful, I feel. But I have to say that my heart and spirit feel much freer in the woods, where Miles can be off-leash and we each go along at our own pace, I stopping to take photos or drink in some humble but beautiful little sight and he fulfilling the baser desires that drive the common (or, in his case, exceptional) dog.

A walk can repair the damages of the day or start the day off splendidly. I prefer early morning but I can see the poetry of walking in the gathering light of evening, too. 

I recently left a job I’d been doing for six and a half years, a fulfilling job but one for which my energy had flagged. Now I have no morning deadlines; I have all the time I want for lolling in bed with my cup of tea, pen & paper, my two dogs pressed warmly against me. I have time to meditate, too, a thing that I never quite managed to fit into my routines. Now I rise whenever I’m satisfied that I’ve had enough of that perfect time, whenever I’ve said all I need to say on paper or, sometimes, when my dogs convince me it’s time to get going.

And then, I walk. I walk in town with both dogs, a shortish walk to accommodate Rufus, the older, smaller of the two, and then a long, wandering walk in the woods with Miles. We discovered that the creek trail is beautifully clear and well maintained, which it never used to be. Fallen trees have had chunks cut out of them for the trail to go through. Invasive bush honeysuckle is being removed. The creek gurgles along next to us as we trundle along, free as two birds.

This freedom is a luxury and I am grateful for it. Of course, it does mean less of the other kinds of luxuries, the ones that are bought with money. But I’m trying to be grateful for all of the simple luxuries in my life. I don’t always succeed but mostly, underneath the complaints, I do.

I only went out for a walk & finally concluded to stay out till sundown. For going out, I found, was really going in. – John Muir

This card, BD148 Life Well Lived available at AmpersandCards.com

If you’re interested in my cards or art, you’ll find all of that on my website.

It’s nice for me to think of you out there, reading this. I hope you have the chance to go for a walk, with or without a dog. Of course, with is best, to my mind.